34 Comments
User's avatar
Meg Jonson's avatar

I've spent years thinking about this.

I think it's

Functional nipples = bad

Pointless nipples = fine

(Can nipples be pointless?)

More importantly, the Bryce Dallas Howard VS Jessica Chastain thing.

It's Bryce right?

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Chris Stanton's avatar

I think nipples can be pointless only figuratively.

As for the most important question…I‘ll leave that up to the reader’s interpretation 😉

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Will Falconer, DVM's avatar

Fun read, Chris! Very creative, giggles aplenty!

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Thank you, Will! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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Vince Roman's avatar

Knippels

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Oy. Men AND women can’t even handle a woman breastfeeding her baby in public. Not sure the topless law would bring people together. We’ve come a long way tho. Definitely a boner of contention in the 80’s.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

There are women who get upset about other women breastfeeding in public? I guess at this point nothing should surprise me, but that did.

And please tell me that’s not a typo in your last sentence, because it’s amazing.

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Yes women get offended too.

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James Hart's avatar

Honestly, Logan’s Run has left such a lasting, varied and quite frankly weird legacy that I think your experience makes all the sense in the world. As to the problem at hand, at least we can rely on museums to show us that sanity can indeed be realized. When we’re not throwing soup everywhere.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

It really has left a weird legacy, hasn’t it? And I’d completely forgotten that Farrah Fawcett was in it. Then again, as I noted, my attention was elsewhere.

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Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Hilarious. And I stand with you Chris, big fan.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Thanks, Henny

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Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

You had me at Vagitarian 😂

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Amanda Jaffe's avatar

Kinda feel like you're opening Pandora's Bra with this one, Stanton....

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Chris Stanton's avatar

👏 I wish I’d thought of that 👏

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Ernie Schenck's avatar

It’s an enigma. Like prime numbers. Some thing are best left unquestioned.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

I shouldn’t have posted this. I don’t need Big Nipple coming after me.

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Michael Maupin 🄾🄵 🅂🅃🄾🅁🅈🅂🄷🄴🄳's avatar

Brave take, Chris. I'd add more salt, but that's just me.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Something to consider for next time

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

You have done a lot of research and stayed ABREAST of all the news around this topic. For that, I commend you! For saying "Let’s flip on our high beams and start heading down the road of resolution," I'm going to request a Venmo for a new laptop because I literally spit my water all over my keyboard just now. Never mind that I'm using it to type this! Just send the Venmo!!!!!

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Hahaha sorry about your laptop! Have you tried sticking it in a giant Costco-sized sack of rice? I’m really glad you liked that line! I was hoping it wouldn’t be a BUST.

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Shelly Mazzanoble's avatar

also great way to work 90-Day Fiancé into the conversation!

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Chris Stanton's avatar

I wish I didn’t have to and expose myself like that, but the situation demanded it

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Rick McClelland's avatar

What’s the big deal? It’s a round, circular protuberance. Everybody’s got ‘em.

(Seinfeld clip for the uninitiated: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6ixLNE5x5l0&pp=ygUQTmlwcGxlcyBzZWluZmVsZA%3D%3D)

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Ha, such a great episode

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

Hilarious start to finish.

The twins and I approve of this piece.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Thank you, Andrea! I’m glad you liked it!

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

It was a riot. So good.

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Ofifoto's avatar

God bless America, land of the free.... 👀

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Hahaha that’s us

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Ofifoto's avatar

Going to our weekly quiz night tonight, and have decided our team name will be "Areola Grande".

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Chris Stanton's avatar

That’s AMAZING 😂

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Adrian Landin's avatar

Cleverly written and well spoken! #nipplemania2025

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Thanks, Adrian!

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