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Gary Davis's avatar

Since I don’t believe anyone has mentioned it yet, you should check out the season 11 episode of The X-Files entitled:

“The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat"

Not only is it all about the Mandela Effect, but it also has a much-deserved perfect 100% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

It was written and directed by all-time great X-Files writer Darin Morgan. If anyone is unfamiliar with his work on The X-Files, his episodes are absolutely brilliant! If you watch “The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat” and enjoy it, here are his other amazing episodes:

“Humbug”

“Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose”

(This episode won two Primetime Emmy Awards: Darin Morgan won for Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series & Peter Boyle won for Outstanding Guest Actor in a Drama Series)

“War of the Coprophages”

“Jose Chung’s From Outer Space”

“Jose Chung’s Doomsday Defense”

“Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster”

All are examples of peak television.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Gary! Love the X-Files recommendations. Thank you! I’ve seen every episode but it’s been a while and I don’t remember “The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat.” I’ll have to check it out again.

I definitely remember “Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose,” Jose Chung’s from Outer Space,” and “Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster.”

Thank you as well for reminding me about Darin Morgan in general. His episodes were always an event.

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Gary Davis's avatar

Of course. Always happy to remind people of awesome things!

Perhaps you don’t remember that episode because Darin Morgan never wrote it in the reality you came from.

Because of the Mandela Effect.

Also, am I the only person who’s noticed the similarity between the words “Mandela” and “Mandalorian?”

In our reality, “The Mandalorian” is a popular Star Wars show and soon to be movie, featuring an alien bounty hunter named Din Djarin. He flies through the universe with a baby Yoda sidekick named Grogu.

In a not too distant reality, “The Mandelorean” was the nickname the bargain hunter named Nelson Mandela (he was famously thrifty) gave the fancy “new” DMC car he bought for a song in 1985 (which is, strangely enough, the same year that Back to the Future starts in). He drove it everywhere with his short, weird-looking buddy named Grogu (is that Slavic?) always riding shotgun.

Because of the Mandela Effect.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Man, this Mandela Effect thing runs much deeper than I realized. I may need to write a follow-up.

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Gary Davis's avatar

It’s all there for the finding, man.

We just have to open our eyes to the real behind the lies.

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Felicia A. Rivers's avatar

Bahaha! Someone made a spoof: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tD0rchvuoMU

And the McD icecream/shake thing? There's an app for that.

Hilarious!

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Chris Stanton's avatar

OMG, that video is fantastic! I can’t believe I’d never seen if before.

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Rick McClelland's avatar

I’ve been trying to figure out how to hop back into the OG timeline for years now. I suspect the divergence happened in 2000 and we’ve all just been living unawares ever since.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

If you do figure it out, please let the rest of us know. We’re freaking out.

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Rick McClelland's avatar

Please form an orderly line on your way into the Timeline Transporter.

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Nancy Jainchill's avatar

I love this. "There is no polite company." And, there was a cornucopia on the Fruit of the Loom. It was also considered above average quality and I don't think that's so anymore.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

You remember the cornucopia too! Apparently there's no evidence anywhere of it having existed. It hurts my brain to think about it. Also, thank you so much for becoming a paid subscriber! It means a lot to me.

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Nan Tepper's avatar

Love, love, love. "I have to do more research, but I think Detective Chinatown 1900 is the only movie to be based on a Mad Lib." And the logging in thing. Nothing like going in circles for 2 hours trying to login and verify anything Google-related. But the idea of getting rid of my phone? Impossiblé! (said with a strident French accent (tinged with New Yawk)). xoxo

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Chris Stanton's avatar

The logging-in process has become so cumbersome that I sometimes just say "screw it" and abandon whatever it is I was going to do. I appreciate security, but I appreciate my sanity more.

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Paul Horton's avatar

Nice job writing a hilarious article that inspired an equally hilarious comments section

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Thanks so much, Paul!

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Jennie O'Connor's avatar

This is my favorite topic ever! Some examples that didn’t get mentioned: Sex AND the City used to be Sex IN the City. The Monopoly guy had a monocle. And it’s “Luke, I am your father.” A million nerds can’t be wrong!

I’m happy to be in this timeline with you and oatmilk, but if CERN is taking requests, I’d like a new one where the car I was all set to buy didn’t just go up $12K in price. Just putting it out there…

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Another ME fan! I should have known, since it’s a giant rabbit hole of a subject.

Oh no, that SUCKS about the car! UGH

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Jennie O'Connor's avatar

I actually believe this conspiracy theory but it feels worth mentioning that it was introduced to me by the last guy I dated (a very long time ago now because of how traumatizing it was) who was ALSO a flat-earther and a believer that urine is the elixir of life.

In addition to political persuasion, I think there should be a mandatory section on dating apps where you list which theories you buy into. It would be a public service, after all.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

I assume that guy also had some opinions about the moon landing.

That dating idea app is brilliant! It would be such a great way to filter people.

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Jennie O'Connor's avatar

The moon is a projection, so there was no "landing." You really need to start getting your facts on the dark web, Chris.

And I will continue to NOT be on the dating apps until that is a feature.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Hahaha, I should have known. My sincerest apologies.

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Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Loved this. Made me think: did you see The Founder with Michael Keaton? There’s a bit in there about McD ice cream. Really good film.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Thanks, Henny! I did see The Founder. Loved it.

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Lee Bacon's avatar

Interesting theory. But I'm afraid you're way off. You're not in the wrong timeline. You're in a simulation. Probably being played by an addled 12-year-old in the year 2075. He must've reset the game 20 years ago, which explains all these inconsistencies you're experiencing.

I hope this clears it up.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

So you’re saying this is a reverse-Terminator situation, where we have to travel to the future and kill our John Connor to prevent this from happening, right?

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Alisa Kennedy Jones's avatar

Oh man, you just made me hella homesick for my '80s rotary princess phone. Food delivery is pretty sweet, though. Quality DoorDash people work so hard! They deserve a special place in Spa heaven, where it's nonstop massages and snacks. 😂

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Chris Stanton's avatar

I’d be a rotting corpse without food delivery. In fact, I used DoorDash earlier tonight! They deserve big tips.

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PTBirnam's avatar

This is mind-blowing, Chris. Been reading Substack for a month now and this is the first keeper for future reference.

I know someone who was positive that Jeff Lynne had died some time ago, which of course, he did not. I think.

Another: “Play it again, Sam!”

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Thanks so much, PT! I’m really glad you liked it.

That’s wild about Jeff Lynne. I had the same experience with Tommy Chong. I was sure he was dead. I “remembered” it happening very clearly. Later on, I found out he was alive and I was so confused.

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

I've never done breakfast delivery and I thought Nelson Mandela was still alive 🤣 I haven't watched the news in a long time.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

I wish I hadn’t watched the news in a long time. But do try the breakfast delivery. You won’t regret it.

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Leslie Senevey's avatar

My lapses are due to the passage of time, the natural aging process and basically, all of the 80s. Also, how in the hell is it not Berenstein?!

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Right? Berenstain does NOT compute. Yet that’s their name. Stupid fucking bears, messing with us like that.

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Victoria Waddle's avatar

Fun. Thanks.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Thanks, Victoria!

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

Chris, are you fkin with me? Sinbad was 10000% a genie. I am completely certain of this.

Though, I definitely jumped timelines because this one only has Mondays and Fridays.

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

Sinbad was absolutely a genie. I don't remember the name of the show but he was. And no sooner had I typed this sentence, then I just Googled it before publishing and I'll be damned if you aren't 10000% correct. He was never a genie. 😩

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

I don’t believe it.

He WAS!!

He was!

He wasssssss!!!

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Fuck, I think we broke Andrea

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

I’m aswirl!

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Soooo many people are on your team with the Sinbad movie. You have to check out the Mandela Effect subreddit. But block out about five hours first, ‘cause you’re gonna be in there a while.

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

And the cornucopia was a thing. I think that’s how I learned the word. I thought it looked like a Bugle (corn chip).

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Other people have said the same thing—that’s how they learned the word. And yet…

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

Nope. I don’t buy it. Some subterfuge is going on.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Big Underwear is trying to hide something.

(That’s what she said.)

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

No, seriously now, my husband remembers it too.

There’s some GenX psyOp going on. Did they pump us with subliminal shit in Saturday cartoons?

Sinbad was a fkg genie named Shazam!

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Wow, your husband remembers it too? Do you also remember Shaq’s movie, Kazaam?

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Andrea Hoffmann's avatar

No! Never even heard of that!

But Sinbad was a genie and I distinctly remember him barefoot in sand.

That can’t be a fake memory!!

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Chris Stanton's avatar

I feel about Dolly in Moonraker the same way you do about the Sinbad movie. It freaked me out.

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Ofifoto's avatar

There is much to digest here (ba boom, tish), since it's nearly breakfast time on Saturday. Loved the line about drool "seep[ing] out of your giddy little mouth."

As for the alternate timelines, it's pleasant here in my fantasy land of wayward memories, such as my interpretation of song lyrics, or made up lines from movies ("Judy, Judy, Judy"). I'll welcome visitors, just not while I'm drooling.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

I’ll be careful not to disturb your fantasy land. What did you have for breakfast???

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Ofifoto's avatar

Homemade croissants and eggs. Yum, yum.

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Chris Stanton's avatar

Nice

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