Some really good lines in here! You made me laugh!
I refuse to get sucked in by the big drama (presidential elections) but let a $10 injustice happen to a total stranger 800 miles away and I will lose my shit 😂
This is great, Chris. I've decided that you are my new guru. You teach valuable things here. I love that I get to learn lessons WHILE laughing! Best mode of delivery. Question: Are you the "author" of Handbook for the Horrible? Because if you are, I want an autographed copy, please. xoxo
Signed with love and admiration, "Happy to call myself a writer and a groupie," your pal, Nan
Thanks, Nan! I’m glad you liked it! The “author” of Handbook for the Horrible has chosen to remain anonymous. I’m not sure why. But does the guru position come with a cool robe?
Any color you like on that robe. I know you have an amazing orange on your list and the red here is great, too...I'd need to get some measurements for the roomiest fit. No inseam needed.
Hey, wait! I just looked at the byline of your name in this comment. IT SAYS "AUTHOR" Not writer! That dude was way outta line! xoxo
I’m going have to try some on. I don’t want to be overstep, but is there a world where I could have a few robes of different colors so I could mix things up? If not, black might be the safest choice.
Holy shit! It does say “author!” I guess that debate is settled. Unfortunately, I didn’t make a note of who those two guys were, so I guess they’ll have to continue to duke it out til either the first guy publishes a book or one of them dies of boredom.
1. The bit about the author/writer nonsense reminded me of the time some guy wrote an EDITORIAL reprimanding Jill Biden for using the title 'Doctor." OK, your whole article did.
2. Ima out you and say "Handbook for the Horrible" is a child of your imagination. Your punishment is to write it. And then complain about the subsequent screenplay.
😅 Yes, my vote for Jeff Bridges and his cabinet. They wouldn't text AND email AND call me once or twice a day soliciting a donation to his presidential run. They'd send one smiley text a week reminding me to chill, catch a wave, and not let anyone harsh my mellow. The Big Lebowski for Pres 2025! 👍
I think the most appropriate response to this missive is "No comment", although it would be interesting to hear what Brando would say about it. Too passive aggressive?
Came on here for 2 reasons - first to say great article witty, funny, sarcastic & poignant and second to see how many people trolled you in the comments completely not seeing themselves as the point. Keep writing author!!
Oh Chris, so, so, SO very good! My only suggestion is that we amend golden retrievers on the premises to golden retriever puppies -- the situation calls for extreme measures. Thank you for this!
The Prez abides!
Where do I vote?
Yes! Line up at the bowling alley on election day. You’ll see the signs.
That’s why I wanted you to make them. I’ve heard you like your White Russians big and strong.
[note to those just joining our thread—please read above for context. DO NOT read these words literally.
Now back to your regularly scheduled programming Dude.]
I really can’t thank you enough for adding that disclaimer
Am I guaranteed a dream sequence if I show up? I’ll bring my proof of citizenship. You bring the White Russians.
The dream sequence depends what condition your condition is in. But I think your condition will be in fine condition after a couple White Russians.
Some really good lines in here! You made me laugh!
I refuse to get sucked in by the big drama (presidential elections) but let a $10 injustice happen to a total stranger 800 miles away and I will lose my shit 😂
Thanks, Pam! You and I are completely on the same page as far as where we point our anger. And I exponentially lose my shit if an animal is harmed.
This is great, Chris. I've decided that you are my new guru. You teach valuable things here. I love that I get to learn lessons WHILE laughing! Best mode of delivery. Question: Are you the "author" of Handbook for the Horrible? Because if you are, I want an autographed copy, please. xoxo
Signed with love and admiration, "Happy to call myself a writer and a groupie," your pal, Nan
Thanks, Nan! I’m glad you liked it! The “author” of Handbook for the Horrible has chosen to remain anonymous. I’m not sure why. But does the guru position come with a cool robe?
Any color you like on that robe. I know you have an amazing orange on your list and the red here is great, too...I'd need to get some measurements for the roomiest fit. No inseam needed.
Hey, wait! I just looked at the byline of your name in this comment. IT SAYS "AUTHOR" Not writer! That dude was way outta line! xoxo
I’m going have to try some on. I don’t want to be overstep, but is there a world where I could have a few robes of different colors so I could mix things up? If not, black might be the safest choice.
Holy shit! It does say “author!” I guess that debate is settled. Unfortunately, I didn’t make a note of who those two guys were, so I guess they’ll have to continue to duke it out til either the first guy publishes a book or one of them dies of boredom.
You can have any color or combo you desire, good sir. I’m here to oblige.
You are too kind, m’lady
Well said, Chris! But I think it's inevitable that Mills Baker will take the title "Archduke of Wordsmithery," at least before I do.
Thanks, C.L.! Your comment about Mills Baker cracked me up.
Two things:
1. The bit about the author/writer nonsense reminded me of the time some guy wrote an EDITORIAL reprimanding Jill Biden for using the title 'Doctor." OK, your whole article did.
2. Ima out you and say "Handbook for the Horrible" is a child of your imagination. Your punishment is to write it. And then complain about the subsequent screenplay.
I heard about that editorial. Think about how self-satisfied he was after writing that. What a fun hang he must be. Ugh.
I can neither confirm nor deny my involvement in the Handbook. (But I accept your punishment and will get working on it.)
“(I mean, I felt good typing all of them, but you know, different circumstances.)” Tactile pleasures aside, venting is cleansing. Lol.
Amen, brother
😅 Yes, my vote for Jeff Bridges and his cabinet. They wouldn't text AND email AND call me once or twice a day soliciting a donation to his presidential run. They'd send one smiley text a week reminding me to chill, catch a wave, and not let anyone harsh my mellow. The Big Lebowski for Pres 2025! 👍
It would be a utopia, wouldn’t it? As the Dude might say, that presidency would really tie the country together.
I think the most appropriate response to this missive is "No comment", although it would be interesting to hear what Brando would say about it. Too passive aggressive?
Hahaha I so respect your tenacity! Still waiting for the cotton balls.
So excited. I reckon cherry tomatoes taste better. I'll pick some up for you at my next shop.
You’re so good to me
Just giving what I get, my friend.
Came on here for 2 reasons - first to say great article witty, funny, sarcastic & poignant and second to see how many people trolled you in the comments completely not seeing themselves as the point. Keep writing author!!
Thank you so much, Karen! I’m on the lookout for the trolls too…
Oh Chris, so, so, SO very good! My only suggestion is that we amend golden retrievers on the premises to golden retriever puppies -- the situation calls for extreme measures. Thank you for this!
Thank you, Amanda! And you’re right—we can’t afford to play around here. Puppies it is!