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So jealous you made Ally Sheedy laugh and RECORDED IT. Are you a vastly superior form of off-world intelligence? I mean, thatโ€™s nuts!

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I mean, I wouldnโ€™t say VASTLYโ€ฆ

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Sep 20ยทedited Sep 20Liked by Chris Stanton

I was on the A Train heading to the Upper West Side one morning when I started to fall in and out of sleep. As you head north in the morning, the train slowly empties out, which it did until there was only two of us remaining. The very next stop, I woke up in a haze in time to see Jake Gyllenhaal hop on. Our eyes met for a second. I thought about saying something, but when you live in NYC, it feels like such a *touristy* thing to do. I left him alone. He got back off on the next stop.

He's more handsome in real life than on screen. On screen he looks kind of like a dork to me.

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โ€œOn screen he looks kind of like a dork to me.โ€ That cracked me up.

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Such a great post! Love that you recorded Ally Sheedy and made her guffaw. This would an incredible thread for people to recount their weird and wonderful celeb tales :)

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Thanks so much, Alisa!

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I've had many myself living in NY. Brian Dennehy laughing, walking down Broadway with an entourage. He seemed alright. Almost running straight into a Seinfeld actor. But the weirdest one happened to my West Texas mom. She goes on a once in a lifetime Mediterranean cruise and her bunkmate is Dennis Hopper's mother

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Your Brian Dennehy experience was so much more pleasant than mine. Thatโ€™s hilarious about your mother and Dennis Hopperโ€™s mother. That woman must have some very interesting young-Dennis stories to tell.

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She has passed on and I never got very far into it with her. But I imagine them sometimes talking together in their cabin

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Sep 21Liked by Chris Stanton

Iโ€™d say this was 1990/1991. Killing time milling around a music store in Little Five Points in Atlanta. Early afternoon, the store wasnโ€™t busy, I was just thumbing through albums. I turned to my right and facing me, 3 feet awayโ€ฆ..Roger Daltrey. I guess I went into vapor lock and had an expression of disbelief on my face because he laughed, said something along the lines of โ€œhi how are yaโ€, and patted me on the shoulder as he walked past me and out of the store.

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Just had to scoop my jaw back up off the floor. Tony, that is incredibly cool!

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Sep 21Liked by Chris Stanton

To be fair, if Rosie didnโ€™t popularize โ€œcutie patootieโ€ someone else would certainly have.

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So youโ€™re saying โ€œcutie patootieโ€ was an inevitability? What kind of world are we living in?

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THIS is smacking! (I tried typing amazing but predictive text changed it to โ€œsmackingโ€ and I thought you would appreciate that so left it. Letโ€™s make smacking happen.) Back in my youth, my friend Cindy and I used to skip school every time a band came to town and hangout at the Arena all day. If you can think of any 1980โ€™s hair band, Cindy and I probably met them. Except the elusive great white whale, Bon Jovi. NOT YET.

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Iโ€™m 100% down for making smacking happen. I love it. It sounds kind of British. โ€œThis was a wonderful party, luv, absolutely smacking!โ€

Thatโ€™s so cool/smacking that you and Cindy did that! Did you used to get pics with the bands or would that have been too intrusive? If Bill and I can manifest Jackie Mason, I have no doubt that you and Cindy can manifest Bon Jovi.

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Well it was Cindy and I who manifested many ghosts on our Ouija board (including the one who refused to leave our friend Theresaโ€™s parentโ€™s bedroom) so we were definitely powerful spiritual junior witches in training. Perhaps we should keep trying. Itโ€™s never too late! Thank you, Reporter Chris!

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Um, quick favor: can you create a new section in your Substack devoted to Ouija boards and ghosts and publish like every day? Please and thank you.

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I can actually! And psychics. I have a tremendous amount of stories about psychics.

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Why do you not live next door to me???

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Because we would probably have been arrested by now? I donโ€™t know. Do you think the other neighbors would like us? Or are we โ€œtoo much?โ€

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Great stories! I've written about a few of mine on my Substack site. One of my favorites was meeting Woody Allen after a screening of his film "Small Town Crooks" at the University of Chicago. When I told him that I teach a course on his films, he said, "Really? Are there students in it?" Hilarious! I said the same thing to Frances McDormand when I saw her on 8th Avenue in New York meeting her husband Joel Coen. Her response was "Are we really that old?" I also saw Madeline Kahn after a Broadway performance for which she won a Tony. When she exited the theater she said, "I don't do photos." We have a great shot of her hand.

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Thatโ€™s amazing that you met Woody Allen and actually talked to him! And agreed, what he said was hilarious. I saw him speak once but that was it. Frances McDormandโ€™s line was pretty good too. And Madeline Kahn! These are great ones, man.

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This really was exactly what I needed to read today.

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Iโ€™m so glad to hear that, Cici. Thanks for reading!

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This was a fun read!

One of the places my wife and I like to visit is Cannon Beach Oregonโ€”itโ€™s gotten quite touristy but early in our marriage, it retained itโ€™s small and quaint vibe. On one of our early visits, we arrived too early to check into our room so we went to the iconic log cabin restaurant in the heart of the small town. We had caught wind that a Hollywood film crew was filming up north in Astoriaโ€”some film called โ€œKindergarten Cop.โ€ There had been sightings of Arnold Schwarzenegger in the areaโ€”I was a big fan of his from his bodybuilding days and even used some of his workout routines when I was training for football. It being in the hours after lunch but still before dinner, the restaurant was emptyโ€”we had the place to ourselves until we saw Arnold ride up the entrance, with an assistant, on their mountain bikes. They walked in and sat right next to our table. I made eye contact with him and we nodded. That restaurant filled up in less than ten minutes with people just wanting to come and gawk at him. He was interrupted more than a few times for autographs which he graciously always signed. To this day, I still tell people I had lunch with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Technically, not that incorrect.

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Thanks, Kert! I love your story. You absolutely, positively had lunch with Arnold! โ€œGet to the choppah!โ€

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Sep 20Liked by Chris Stanton

Great stories, all of them. My celebrity sightings are few and memorable, but the highlights are kissing Humphrey B. Bear's nose at a department store appearance in 1973 (a BIG deal for a 3 year-old girl from Perth, Australia), and the other? Well, don't tell anyone, but (whispers) I know Reporter Chris. I mean, I've never met him in person, but we're friends, y'know?

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Thanks, Ofifoto! I just googled Humphrey B. Bear, and Iโ€™m a little confused by his wardrobe. Thereโ€™s like a Scotch pattern vest, a boater hat, and a bow the size of the ones you see in car ads around the holidays. Yet no pants. Just want to make sure everythingโ€™s on the up and up with this guy.

Your secret is safe with me. Reporter Chris is very happy to be friends with Ofifoto too.

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Sep 21Liked by Chris Stanton

Yes, the lack of pants was an issue that concerned me as I got older, but his friend Fat Cat had the same taste and he was an ok dude, too. Come to think of it, Yogi Bear was also in the same camp. ๐Ÿค”

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Yeah, and Winnie the Pooh too. There have been a whole lot of bare-ass bears through the ages. Then you have Donald Duck, his nephews, and his uncle. Yet Mickey Mouse has shorts that are so high up his chest they almost double as a shirt. Cartoon fashion designers take some big swings.

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Sep 21Liked by Chris Stanton

The bare-asses have confidence. Bugs takes it to full frontal nudity. Maybe Mickey is over-compensating?

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Youโ€™re right, Bugs is out there, proudly letting it all hang out. So is Daffy. Yet Porky is all gussied up with a blazer and bow tie. I think heโ€™s sensitive about his stutter and, like Mickey, is also over-compensating.

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Sep 21Liked by Chris Stanton

Ah, Porky. Maybe he's not such a humble pig. The stutter was a big hit with the ladies, after all.

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This is great! When I was 11 or 12, my mom and I saw Will Smith (during the Fresh Prince era) at the airport in DC. I was super shy, but my mom took me over to ask for an autograph and he very nicely signed the envelope that held our boarding pass. I believe he wrote, along with his signature, "Andrew - Be cool!" I have some terrible news for Will about that.

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Thanks, Andrew! In fairness, Will lost his cool very publicly, so heโ€™s in no position to judge.

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Great point. Definitely using that against him next time we meet.

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Sep 20Liked by Chris Stanton

No celebrity stories here! I went to school with John Cougar' s super model ex wife and Blue Clues kid went to my school. (Didn't know him or remember him). Are you from the Philly area too?

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Both of those are pretty cool. Youโ€™re a phellow Philly native??? I had no idea. I grew up in King of Prussia. (For anyone reading this whoโ€™s not from that area, yes, thatโ€™s really the name of a town.) How about you?

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Sep 21Liked by Chris Stanton

King of Prussia isn't too far from me. I worked there in the early 90s good old 422. It was like office space lol. Limerick area which really isn't Philly, but still

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Oh yeah. I spent a fair amount of time at that Benniganโ€™s. And Pizzeria Uno.

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Sep 21Liked by Chris Stanton

Yes!! Loved Pizzeria Uno! Date nights. I always got served though at 18 at both places! I guess they didn't card or care back then. Then at 26 I started getting singled out and carded ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ

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That's so funny. They were definitely a lot more lax back then about checking IDs. But maybe you're Benjamin Buttoning?

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Sep 22Liked by Chris Stanton

Ah!! I had to Google that haha! Maybe I singled out of a group of friends as we walked though a casino when I was in my mid 20s. And my friend said you did look your 14 in your hoodie. They reminded me of that for years

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Iโ€™m all-too familiar with the pleasures of 422. I spent a lot of time on that road during that same period; we probably drove by each other. You know those signs that say โ€œSpeed limit enforced by aircraftโ€? I used to think that was just a scare tactic. Then one day I saw a cop waiting up ahead and slowed down in plenty of time, yet he pulled me over anyway. When I asked him why he pointed to the plane above us. Lesson learned.

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Sep 21Liked by Chris Stanton

I forgot about those speeding signs. Dang, there really was a plane. Busted!! I'm sure we passed each-other on the way to work or Bennigans, lol. Remember that place?

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Sep 20ยทedited Sep 20Liked by Chris Stanton

OH BOY! You're gonna be sorry you asked, but....first I have to acknowledge the first line that made me burst into roars of unbridled laughter was this: "I told her what had just happened, but I sounded like Big Bird trying to convince everyone on Sesame Street that Snuffleupagus was real, and that theyโ€™d just missed him." I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING. Thank god I was alone. My dogs looked at me with an expression that I read as, "Mommy, are you okay?" with little puppy creases in their little puppy foreheads accompanying their concerned stares. Belly laughs. It felt amazing to laugh like that. Follow that with giggling at the recording of Ms. Sheedy. She's a real sport. AND, finding myself doing my own imitation of Jackie Mason, because who doesn't know that voice? And the photos all over the city? Now, a roster of my interactions with the rich, powerful and famous. To have those interactions, all one has to do is wait tables at a high end restaurant at its peak popularity. For me, it was Union Square Cafe in the late 80s. I too, had a less than exciting meet-up with Harrison Ford. What a dud. His lunch companion, Mike Nichols was absolutely charming. I waited on Joel Grey, Kitty Dukakis and cousin-in-law, Olympia (that was fun), Walter Matthau, who I almost slobbered on, I was so smitten, and I told him so; he was delicious about it. Jodie Fosterโ€“โ€“I swiped the cork from her champagne bottle for a friend of mine who worshipped everything about herโ€“โ€“Stockard Channing, who was doing a Broadway show at the time and would come in for a two martini lunch followed by a bottle of wine all by herselfโ€“โ€“her husband was with her and matched her drink for drinkโ€“โ€“and the piece de resistance? Julia Child. That one, I'm saving for my own story! I think that's it. There are probably others, but oh my aging brain! Thanks for your story, Chris. Great as always!

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Thanks, Nan! Iโ€™m so happy you got a kick out the Snuffleupagus reference! And Iโ€™m extra glad that youโ€™ve joined me in doing a Jackie Mason act. In writing this I triggered that old habit and am walking around doing it again. I think itโ€™s going to take a while to shake this.

Youโ€™ve had some great encounters! Iโ€™m so envious that you met Mike Nichols! Holy shit, thatโ€™s amazing. And Walter Freakinโ€™ Matthau!!! Iโ€™m in awe. I find myself hoping Stockard got a nap before showtime, and later, maybe some help. Also very cool about Jodie; your friend now owes you for life. I canโ€™t wait to read about your experience with Julia Child! Iโ€™m dying to hear what she was like in person.

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The experience with Julia was not terribly interactive but she left a major impression on me. My Walter Matthau interaction was amazing.

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I LOVE Walter Matthau. Sometimes, out of nowhere, Iโ€™ll belt out โ€œFelix!!!โ€ in a Walter Matthau impression. I donโ€™t think I could sustain his voice for a whole sentence, but if I do say so myself, I nail it when itโ€™s just two syllables.

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I need to hear that one day. So this is what happened. He and a friend came to the restaurant for lunch. Not Union Square Cafe, but another great one called Gotham Bar and Grill. They sat down at a two top in my section. I swallowed hard to keep

myself from swooning; Iโ€™m not a swooner by nature. But he was WALTER FUCKING MATTHAU. I approached the table and said, โ€œPlease forgive me, Mr. Matthau, but if I donโ€™t unburden myself now, youโ€™re not going to have an enjoyable lunch because Iโ€™ll screw everything up.โ€ And he looked at me and asked with concern in his voice, โ€œYes, what is it my dear?โ€ So I gathered my courage and blurted out, โ€œI just LOVE you!โ€ He beamed at me and reached up to my left cheek and softly held my face and said, โ€œoh, how lovely of you to say that. Thank you for telling me.โ€ I smiled during their whole meal and served them as if they were royalty, because he was.

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OMG, Nan. That is the greatest Walter Fucking Matthau story I could have asked for! It sounds like heโ€™s exactly who Iโ€™d hoped he was. You must have been floating the rest of the day.

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I was definitely floating all day, and when I revisit that memory, I float again! He was a truly lovely man.

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You and Bill CONJURED Jackie Mason. Thatโ€™s hilarious and brilliant. I need to find someone to play this game with who does good impressions of Harrison Ford.

My favourite random celebrity encounter was one of the few times my prosopagnosia has benefited rather than shamed me. I use the medical term rather than โ€˜face blindnessโ€™ so people understand I mean I am genuinely handicapped! I often donโ€™t recognise people I know quite well. Anyhooooโ€ฆ..

Iโ€™m at a party launching a Literary Festival, on my own, and pick a very tall handsome guy, also on his own, to chat to. He says his name is John. We chat for about 20 minutes about all sorts of things, until I have to go to my event. No way I would have approached him at all if Iโ€™d realised he was John Taylor from 80s band Duran Duran. He was a lovely chap.

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It definitely feels like we conjured him. The whole thing was SO strange and funny. I saw Mark Hamill do a really good impression of Harrison Ford on some show, so see if you can track him down. Then again, he could probably just introduce you. That might be easier.

Thatโ€™s so cool about John Taylor! I bet he appreciated the fact that you treated him like a regular person, not knowing that you didnโ€™t realize who he was. While weโ€™re on this subject, I want to give a shout-out to The Power Station, which put out one phenomenal album.

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