My penis is perfect for oral, vaginal, and anal sex... I also do Thai massage work, ala Mantak Chia. Can be very sensual if desired. TY! Neal Hugh Hurwitz NY NY and Medellin and ISR 😊
This might be the best sentence you have ever written: Not every man with an aerospace company that builds conspicuously cock-shaped rockets—you know what, two examples is plenty. 😆
I had gotten behind on my Chris Stanton posts, and catching up is a delightful way to spend my morning.
Thank you, Jennie! Yeah, that third example wasn’t going to work out haha. It makes me very happy to hear that you chose Stantonland to entertain you on your Saturday morning!
Good God, you've just invented "weenie math"! And there are SO many variables. Dicmatic? Or Dickorithms? ChatGPT's new Deep Research function could totally go to town on this topic! And shame on Zelda! No one should ever be shamed for anatomy they have no control over. If anything, it's an opportunity to get wicked creative in the sack! :)
Hahaha weenie math! I love it. Since I mentioned the Gross Domestic Putzes rate in there, how about Dickonomics? Zelda was a mean drunk! I wish we were in the Roaring 20s instead of the Revolting 20s we're in.
If one of these insults ever comes my way, I just shout, "I WAS IN THE POOL, I WAS IN THE POOL!" and people either know the reference or they can be safely ignored forever.
With that many creative call outs, I can only look forward to your next piece on male recreational, umm, activities. Choking the gopher and so on. That and sub anatomical descriptors, like that worn backward baseball cap. Have at it, Chris, this could be a fun series!
When I was in 6th grade there was a neighborhood boy who made fun of me. My mom told me to say, “The reason why you’re acting this way is because your penis is too small.” He was stunned and never bothered me again.
I love the special formula, brilliant. And the word play is spot-on. I tried to think of some penis words to throw into my praise of you, Chris Stanton, but sadly, or not so sadly, depending on ones perspective and personal leanings, it is a subject I know microscopically little about. I think you're a fine example of man. You must be immense. Love you, man!
My penis is perfect for oral, vaginal, and anal sex... I also do Thai massage work, ala Mantak Chia. Can be very sensual if desired. TY! Neal Hugh Hurwitz NY NY and Medellin and ISR 😊
Thank you and your penis for reading, Neal
This might be the best sentence you have ever written: Not every man with an aerospace company that builds conspicuously cock-shaped rockets—you know what, two examples is plenty. 😆
I had gotten behind on my Chris Stanton posts, and catching up is a delightful way to spend my morning.
Thank you, Jennie! Yeah, that third example wasn’t going to work out haha. It makes me very happy to hear that you chose Stantonland to entertain you on your Saturday morning!
Good God, you've just invented "weenie math"! And there are SO many variables. Dicmatic? Or Dickorithms? ChatGPT's new Deep Research function could totally go to town on this topic! And shame on Zelda! No one should ever be shamed for anatomy they have no control over. If anything, it's an opportunity to get wicked creative in the sack! :)
Hahaha weenie math! I love it. Since I mentioned the Gross Domestic Putzes rate in there, how about Dickonomics? Zelda was a mean drunk! I wish we were in the Roaring 20s instead of the Revolting 20s we're in.
This is too close to a dream I had last night called the penis wars are on… I had to wake up-too many players.
Love the formula. Ha
That sounds like a nightmare to me 😂
Fucking hilarious! Thanks for making me start my Sunday with a smile (and an image) I'll take with me all day!
Haha, thanks Lisa!
Too funny! It made me think of the Orange Man riffing on the colossal attribute Arnold Palmer possessed.
Ha, I never heard that story! I’ve heard a lot of Milton Berle ones, though.
Fuckkk they figured out the formula…WOMEN! TIME TO REGROUP!!!
Now we need a piece from you about your side hustle of being a rap star. Comedic gold awaits Little Boney.
Hahaha thanks Henny! I’m still working on my beats, so I’ll keep you posted!
I started laughing at the title. Thx! BTW, who knew there were so many handles for the Gatsby?
Haha, thanks Nancy! There are SO many more I thought about and left out. 😁
If one of these insults ever comes my way, I just shout, "I WAS IN THE POOL, I WAS IN THE POOL!" and people either know the reference or they can be safely ignored forever.
It shrinks?
With that many creative call outs, I can only look forward to your next piece on male recreational, umm, activities. Choking the gopher and so on. That and sub anatomical descriptors, like that worn backward baseball cap. Have at it, Chris, this could be a fun series!
Hahaha I could call it “Dinging Dongs”
Funny stuff! I appreciate all the double entendres. Despite the stiff competition, your newsletter rose to the occasion.
Hahaha thanks Lee! It was hard.
So clever.
When I was in 6th grade there was a neighborhood boy who made fun of me. My mom told me to say, “The reason why you’re acting this way is because your penis is too small.” He was stunned and never bothered me again.
Hahaha your mom is a LEGEND!
Fucking a screen door 🤣🤣 that got me
It conjures up quite an image, doesn’t it?
IN. THE ORIGINAL. LATIN.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That was my favorite part of the whole piece. I’m so glad you liked that, Marya!
I’m still snort-laughing
OMG. Me too!
I love the special formula, brilliant. And the word play is spot-on. I tried to think of some penis words to throw into my praise of you, Chris Stanton, but sadly, or not so sadly, depending on ones perspective and personal leanings, it is a subject I know microscopically little about. I think you're a fine example of man. You must be immense. Love you, man!
Aw, thank you Nan! You’re the best. “It is a subject I know microscopically little about” is cracking me up.
You're the man! I love making you laugh. It's a high honor, my dear. xo
❤️