24 Comments
User's avatar
Will Falconer, DVM's avatar

Intelligent bunch of searchers here. No one apparently cared to know if pigs can fly… Or if hell can freeze over. That reassuring in a way, especially when you see the gender confused step up to bat.

But elephants and tsunamis? I like how your mind works, Chris. Lots of fun, this exercise!

Chris Stanton's avatar

Thanks, Will! Now that you mention it, I’m kind of surprised no one searched for “can pigs fly.” It seems right in line with some of the other genius searches I saw.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

What this teaches us, or more aptly - what it reinforces - is that most of us are morons.

And while I’m more of a spoken word type guy, I would totally audition for your death metal band.

Chris Stanton's avatar

That was my main takeaway as well.

Great, I’ll talk to the guys and we’ll set something up the next time Toxic Megacolon is in your neck of the woods.

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

I live in Wisconsin and there is a dearth of those types of bands so you may wanna get on the stick. Fertile ground.

Mike Bryskier's avatar

Naturally, I tried “Can an old guy…”

Google suggested “build muscle,” “learn new tricks,” and “ever stop giving unwanted advice.”

Then it asked whether I wanted directions to urgent care.

Nan Tepper's avatar

I laughed for the entire length of the piece. OUT loud! No quiet snickering on this one, and yes, like Offifoto1, I did a little testing too, coincidentally, also on a Brave browser. I'm done with Google, and am closing in on the date when all of my email addresses will be end-to-end encrypted. I got to a breaking point due to the abundance of spam I was receiving every day. Now my life is spam and ad free. I'm not tracked or traced or made a victim of relentless ads that pop up everywhere just because I searched a product! I'm free!!!!

Okay here are mine:

Can A:

Can a catholic attend sspx mass

Can L:

Can lyme disease kill you

Can V:

Can vaginal atrophy be reversed

Can O:

No can o' worms? That was the first thing that came up for me.

Can Z:

Can Zohran Mamdani run for president

Unfortunately, that answer is no. Because it's in the constitution, he wasn't born here. But I think it's because everyone knows he'd win. I mean, it's not like anyone is paying attention to the constitution these days.

Why can't WE?

Why can't:

Why can't you wear white after labor day?

Chris Stanton's avatar

I’m glad you liked it, Nan! I also love that you and Ofifoto are doing your own experiments. So does no more Google mean no more YouTube? Or do you not use YouTube anyway?

Ofifoto1's avatar
1dEdited

The laugh I needed today. I'm curious, though. This is Google search predictive text. I'm going to try with a different search engine & see if I find any more answers.

EDIT: Using Brave, there was a lot of concern over whether various medical ailments can kill you, but the best one I found was "can quail eat chia seeds". I'm delighted with this new game, thank you. It's more fun, and better for my mental health, than scrolling suggestions on Instagram. I'm off now to see what happens with "why".

Chris Stanton's avatar

I’m glad you enjoyed it! I also tried it with DuckDuckGo just to see what I’d get there. They were quite different. I guess each search engine reflects the personalities of its users. Seems like Brave users are a bunch of hypochondriacs!

Ofifoto1's avatar

Pessimistic hypochondriacs, no less!

Mary Beth Lathrop's avatar

Oh, Chris, that is hilarious. Perfect read for me this evening. Still laughing. Thank you!

Chris Stanton's avatar

You made my night, Mary Beth!

Beth Goldner's avatar

This was a classic! Every letter you covered gave me a laugh and I had no idea that so many things cause GI distress!

Chris Stanton's avatar

Thanks, my friend! Let’s catch up soon.

David Arthur's avatar

‘Should Canada’ still gives ‘join the EU’ as the first result; but last spring, I only needed to type ‘should’!

Chris Stanton's avatar

🤣 I guess that’s progress!

Nancy Jainchill's avatar

Can I figure out what makes you tick? I don't think so. That's a good thing.

Chris Stanton's avatar

If you do, please share it with me.

Rose Marie's avatar

I laughed the whole alphabet through.

Chris Stanton's avatar

I love to hear that, Rose!

Nan Tepper's avatar

Me too. HILARIOUS! xo