This was epic. Kudos to you for taking a painstaking situation and giving it to us as fodder for entertainment, all wrapped up in a neat bow tie. (I am not laughing at your pain, I swear.) I hope the saga ends soon.
Please, go ahead and laugh at my pain. 😆 The good news is, the tree is coming down tomorrow. I really hope they don’t cause it to fall on my house, but the way things have been going lately…
I'm with you on this, Chris. This is a tough one, I was just recently through it myself. Have you noticed these days $1000 is the new $200? Not long ago things you needed were going to be "around $200-300"... That's whether you needed junk hauled, tree limbs cut etc. Now everybody starts at $1000.
OMG, yes! I don’t know when that jump happened, but it did happen. The cost of having this tree removed, not even counting the cleanup of the fallen limbs, made my stomach drop. It’s a big tree, but I could probably buy a serviceable used car at that price.
Agreed. Luckily the tree in question was firmly on my neighbors property - the branches hanging over my roof - I talked him into cutting down the whole tree by paying half. It was expensive - but splitting it helped and one less tree to crush my house... win/win
Oh my goodness... this reminds me of my adventures with electricians in Vermont! Those guys NEVER show up. Whenever my house was about to burn down from its crazy nine-million-year-old wiring, it was always either deer season, or duck season, or... squirrel season. I was like, "Is there a 'work' season?" And they always looked at our 1700s Colonial (and me) with such a profound mix of pity and fatigue. You'd think they'd be happy for such a big job? But NOPE. Eventually, I hired a handyman named Bob (pronounced "Baab" because... Vermont). Baab spoke almost exclusively in "Ayups" and "Nopes". One morning, I padded into the kitchen for a coffee to find him rewiring the chandelier over the island. Just as I was getting some milk from the fridge, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a blast of spark and flame. There he is, frozen, gripping two live wires. His hair is all kaflooey with silky tendrils of smoke wafting up around him. "Baab! Are you OK?" I shout. Nothing. Suddenly, I am terrified I have killed this poor man with bad lighting. "Baab!" Still nothing. "Baab, do you need me to call someone?!" Finally, he says in a full-on Vermont Tractor accent, "Naah, 110's nothing. Now, 220... THAT shakes ya." Then he went straight back to work while I stood there, AGOG, with my coffee, and it was like... Did I just witness an electric miracle or the birth of some kookadoo Green Mountain cryptid? 😂
I’m laughing so hard at this right now. Baab is right out of central casting—maybe a character in “Newhart”—and I love him for it. I can only imagine how scared you must have been seeing him up there smoking like a burnt fajita. And then he reacts like this happens all the time, just another day on the job. People up in the VT/NH/ME area are truly a special breed.
God Save the Pottery Shed, I say! I let out my breath once I heard that ding dong was nixed from the job. But now, your secret is out, Chris. If anyone wants your business, he only need show up in a bow tie! Great story, as always. Thanks for the chuckles!
First of all, love the "stumped" pun in the subtitle.
Second: Sorry you have to deal with all this!
Third: Before moving to our current house, my wife and I bought a house in New Jersey, and there were lots of beautiful trees in our yard. I loved that space. But it also meant we had to have tree inspections sometimes. So a couple of years after moving in, we had a guy come out and the first thing he said to me was, "Oh, I remember this house. I inspected it for the seller right before he listed it on the market." Turns out the seller (who was just flipping the house) told the inspector to do the most minimal inspection, whatever would cost him the least amount of money before he could offload it on whoever bought the house (ie, us). He had the same philosophy about every other aspect of the house.
Oh, no. What a nightmare. I can imagine my stomach sinking after hearing that come out of the guy’s mouth. I hope things didn’t get too bad in the other areas where the flipper cut corners!
It worked out ok in the end. We had to make some dumb repairs to fix his cheap cover-ups, but we ended up selling the house for twice what we paid for it seven years later without any huge renovation, so that seems fair
Oh, boy. Tree removal. In the same category as asphalt driveways when it comes to price-gouging, and a wide spectrum of pricing and "good" ideas. I hope it all works out or worked out. There are so many good things about owning a house, but ongoing maintenance is my least favorite part. I got my house into pretty great shape when I bought it (and spend $3000 taking down a tree that threatened the safety of my garage and then found out that the tree was my neighbor's). They were so grateful that I did it, because they were worried about my garage, too. Did they offer to absorb some of the cost. You already know the answer. I've been here 13 years. Do I talk to my next door neighbors? You know the answer to that, too, but just in case you're not sure...here's the answer: Fuck no. xo
Agreed, there’s good and bad, but sometimes the bad is almost too much to take. I’m going to write something, maybe next week, about that.
That story about your neighbor is nuts! What kind of people don’t offer to–AT THE VERY LEAST—chip in for that? Thank you for not leaving me in the dark about whether or not you talk to these jerkoffs. The mystery would have kept me up tonight. 🤣🤣🤣
This was epic. Kudos to you for taking a painstaking situation and giving it to us as fodder for entertainment, all wrapped up in a neat bow tie. (I am not laughing at your pain, I swear.) I hope the saga ends soon.
Please, go ahead and laugh at my pain. 😆 The good news is, the tree is coming down tomorrow. I really hope they don’t cause it to fall on my house, but the way things have been going lately…
Oh man! Keep us posted!! 😬
I'm with you on this, Chris. This is a tough one, I was just recently through it myself. Have you noticed these days $1000 is the new $200? Not long ago things you needed were going to be "around $200-300"... That's whether you needed junk hauled, tree limbs cut etc. Now everybody starts at $1000.
OMG, yes! I don’t know when that jump happened, but it did happen. The cost of having this tree removed, not even counting the cleanup of the fallen limbs, made my stomach drop. It’s a big tree, but I could probably buy a serviceable used car at that price.
Agreed. Luckily the tree in question was firmly on my neighbors property - the branches hanging over my roof - I talked him into cutting down the whole tree by paying half. It was expensive - but splitting it helped and one less tree to crush my house... win/win
Oh my goodness... this reminds me of my adventures with electricians in Vermont! Those guys NEVER show up. Whenever my house was about to burn down from its crazy nine-million-year-old wiring, it was always either deer season, or duck season, or... squirrel season. I was like, "Is there a 'work' season?" And they always looked at our 1700s Colonial (and me) with such a profound mix of pity and fatigue. You'd think they'd be happy for such a big job? But NOPE. Eventually, I hired a handyman named Bob (pronounced "Baab" because... Vermont). Baab spoke almost exclusively in "Ayups" and "Nopes". One morning, I padded into the kitchen for a coffee to find him rewiring the chandelier over the island. Just as I was getting some milk from the fridge, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a blast of spark and flame. There he is, frozen, gripping two live wires. His hair is all kaflooey with silky tendrils of smoke wafting up around him. "Baab! Are you OK?" I shout. Nothing. Suddenly, I am terrified I have killed this poor man with bad lighting. "Baab!" Still nothing. "Baab, do you need me to call someone?!" Finally, he says in a full-on Vermont Tractor accent, "Naah, 110's nothing. Now, 220... THAT shakes ya." Then he went straight back to work while I stood there, AGOG, with my coffee, and it was like... Did I just witness an electric miracle or the birth of some kookadoo Green Mountain cryptid? 😂
I’m laughing so hard at this right now. Baab is right out of central casting—maybe a character in “Newhart”—and I love him for it. I can only imagine how scared you must have been seeing him up there smoking like a burnt fajita. And then he reacts like this happens all the time, just another day on the job. People up in the VT/NH/ME area are truly a special breed.
Gaaagh 😂 “burnt fajita” !!! It’s SO what he was! He just needed Tapatio!
🤣
God Save the Pottery Shed, I say! I let out my breath once I heard that ding dong was nixed from the job. But now, your secret is out, Chris. If anyone wants your business, he only need show up in a bow tie! Great story, as always. Thanks for the chuckles!
Thanks, Will! You know what you just made me think of? The Maytag Repairman from the old ads. Bow tie wearer!
I give people that deal with tree pruning and removal the benefit of the doubt because that is seriously dangerous shit to do for a living.
But, my folks lost a tree (probably in the same storm as they live generally by you)…so I totally empathize, on all fronts.
Definitely a dangerous job. I hope your parents had a smoother experience with their situation!
So wait a minute! What happened with the tree? This is like a hanging chad.
The tree is coming down on Monday!
This was so good ! Made me chuckle.
Thanks so much, Francis!
You have the most interesting life stories, I gotta say 😅
Ha, it’s always been this way. If you can’t laugh about it, you’re screwed, right?
First of all, love the "stumped" pun in the subtitle.
Second: Sorry you have to deal with all this!
Third: Before moving to our current house, my wife and I bought a house in New Jersey, and there were lots of beautiful trees in our yard. I loved that space. But it also meant we had to have tree inspections sometimes. So a couple of years after moving in, we had a guy come out and the first thing he said to me was, "Oh, I remember this house. I inspected it for the seller right before he listed it on the market." Turns out the seller (who was just flipping the house) told the inspector to do the most minimal inspection, whatever would cost him the least amount of money before he could offload it on whoever bought the house (ie, us). He had the same philosophy about every other aspect of the house.
Thanks, Lee!
Oh, no. What a nightmare. I can imagine my stomach sinking after hearing that come out of the guy’s mouth. I hope things didn’t get too bad in the other areas where the flipper cut corners!
It worked out ok in the end. We had to make some dumb repairs to fix his cheap cover-ups, but we ended up selling the house for twice what we paid for it seven years later without any huge renovation, so that seems fair
Good, I’m glad you got a nice ROI out of it!
To borrow the wise words of Charlie Brown, "good grief!"
He’s a wise kid. Even if he is a fucking drag sometimes. 😆
I wonder how his life would be different if he wore a bow tie!
OMG. He’d be unstoppable! “You’re a New Man, Charlie Brown. “
Oh, boy. Tree removal. In the same category as asphalt driveways when it comes to price-gouging, and a wide spectrum of pricing and "good" ideas. I hope it all works out or worked out. There are so many good things about owning a house, but ongoing maintenance is my least favorite part. I got my house into pretty great shape when I bought it (and spend $3000 taking down a tree that threatened the safety of my garage and then found out that the tree was my neighbor's). They were so grateful that I did it, because they were worried about my garage, too. Did they offer to absorb some of the cost. You already know the answer. I've been here 13 years. Do I talk to my next door neighbors? You know the answer to that, too, but just in case you're not sure...here's the answer: Fuck no. xo
Agreed, there’s good and bad, but sometimes the bad is almost too much to take. I’m going to write something, maybe next week, about that.
That story about your neighbor is nuts! What kind of people don’t offer to–AT THE VERY LEAST—chip in for that? Thank you for not leaving me in the dark about whether or not you talk to these jerkoffs. The mystery would have kept me up tonight. 🤣🤣🤣
Love you, cookie! xo
You too!
This reminds me of trying to find a good mobile RV technician while we were on a recent road trip.
Nothing’s ever easy, is it?