Oh my goodness Chris - what do I do about a neighbour who’s shouting through the wall at someone all the time (but a little too aggressively to attempt a similar move to the one you would have us believe happened in the cafe ?) Tonight I think I will dream of him waking up tomorrow and finding he is suddenly mute.
Yup I’ve done that a little bit but not enough. Going to up my game. Thanks. Hopefully it comes in handy with a humorous scene I write one day. Funny for someone reading it - tho not for me experiencing it now :)
Another question I had for you which I think you will have an idea about : who ought I to read or watch on satire ?
This is a list of ideas so far for an article but I think I need a few more medieval ones and ones from last century. Here, the US and Europe
Some authors you could check out are Robert Benchley, P.G. Wodehouse, Dorothy Parker, Mark Twain, Kurt Vonnegut, Joseph Heller, David Sedaris, and George Saunders (who has a Substack)
TV: Veep, Silicon Valley, Episodes, Succession, The Righteous Gemstones
Movies: Dr. Strangelove, Wag the Dog, pretty much anything by Mel Brooks, Office Space, Idiocracy, Life of Brian, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Borat
That’s a tough one, Joanna. If it were me, every time he started shouting, I’d blast music REALLY loudly. After a few seconds I’d turn it down to see if he stopped. If he’s quiet, you’re quiet. If he’s not, you’re not. Repeat as necessary. He’d get the message.
Oh man. The solution to the guy on the phone is so deliciously passive aggressive! I love it so much. Also your on-foot solution (whispering in his face) to the guy at the bank. I really might have to try that one. So hilarious
"gynecological hobbyist!" 😂😂😂 I loved all of this so much. I knew a very nice gentleman who could literally not stop talking. not ever. And I do believe this was the reason he never advanced in his career or had luck romantically. He couldn't stop. I got trapped in a conversation with him and said "I have to go to the bathroom!" and got up and walked to the WOMEN'S ROOM and he followed me right to the door where I finally had to scream YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE!!!!" He would have walked right into the stall with me for sure. As someone who, you know, often thinks about other people and how to not be a total and complete idiot, I often think about what it must be like to have complete unawareness of others and self. Is it freeing? Does it feel good? Are they happy ALL THE TIME? What is it like to live in complete oblivion???
Once again, you mentioned the very line I thought would amuse you! Too funny. We are IN SYNC. That's hilarious about the guy follow you to the women's room. It's unfathomable while it's happening, isn't it? You bring up such a good question: what is going on inside these people's heads? I guess it probably is freeing. If you can't ever tell that you're making people uncomfortable and that they want to get away from you, you most likely never worry about it either. So you must just walk around assuming everyone is waiting to hear what you have to say. You have no ability to take in negative feedback. Which would feel good, right? Despite the fact that it's borderline psychotic?
We ARE in sync! Or InSync. We are them too! Yeah-- the inability to not know you are psychotic is for sure a superhero. While I daydream all day long about doing any of the things you mentioned, I am wayyyyy to aware of making people uncomfortable! And other than my family, I don't like doing it!
We ARE InSync! I think it's a matter of baby steps. You already have it down with your immediate family, so start with a member of your extended family. There has to be one you're not crazy about. Make them uncomfortable. Workshop it before you take it to a broader audience, you know?
Good God, people tell you everything! I used to think it was just me--especially in New York, when I was wired shut--and couldn't say anything back to them! But you... You could probably qualify for spy status, what with all the medical gore and divorce dynamics spewed at you. You'd certainly be sneakier than that silly Pete Hedgehog and his gaggle of tin-can-chatting asshats. I will definitely be stealing these evasive maneuvers.
Hahaha they do. It happens all the time. When I was interning at a company in college, there was a woman who'd always confide in me about how her boyfriend was an asshole. The best part? He also worked there. That's so funny that people would unload on you when you couldn't talk. They were probably like, "Finally, a captive audience!"
Can you believe those Signal-chatting, Gang-Who-Couldn't-Shoot-Straight motherfuckers? Just when I think these arrogant dipshits couldn't possibly be more stupid and careless, they prove me wrong. Every time.
We're pretty much living in a Dr. Strangelove sequel. Peter Sellers and Kubrick would be rolling like happy (stinky) dogs in so much ripe material. Lol. It practically writes itself!
In these types of situations I usually just hold up one hand, palm out, a/k/a the international sign for "stop" and say, "After my husband died almost four years ago I realized that time is not a renewable resource, so I'm not wasting mine [insert annoying behavior]."
You would have loved the guy on our transatlantic flight whose alarm went off AT TOP VOLUME every five minutes for an hour until I leapt out of my seat and glared at him with fervor he must have felt in his soul because he looked terrified enough to turn it down approximately one decibel. Not off, mind you, just down. 😳
The speaker phone convo was priceless! You really brought the LOL on that one, Chris. Happens here in India all the time, where cell phones (mo BILES) are a bit more of a recent phenomenon.
😅 I can just see the Greek bar room brawl now! And Noises Off--those are brilliant solutions and I'm gonna try one when I know I can handle a retaliatory ape fight. And for social go-away old reliables that women use around apey men?: "Tampon, pad, blood, gush, fishy, moist". Works everytime.
Hey. What's wrong with whistling in public? What am I supposed to do, whistle all alone at my desk? That doesn't sound like fun. And why don't you want to hear all the details of the very last time I menstruated? You're not as kind as I'd been led to believe, Chris. I walking away now.
I have new neighbours and they haven't yet got the memo that these days we text each other when we're on opposite sides of the house, rather than yell, or even just go find the other person. It's funny, listening to their carry on, but I also want to yell back and shut them up.
Oh my goodness Chris - what do I do about a neighbour who’s shouting through the wall at someone all the time (but a little too aggressively to attempt a similar move to the one you would have us believe happened in the cafe ?) Tonight I think I will dream of him waking up tomorrow and finding he is suddenly mute.
Know of some, not all, but Succession is incredible. The writing is 👌
Yup I’ve done that a little bit but not enough. Going to up my game. Thanks. Hopefully it comes in handy with a humorous scene I write one day. Funny for someone reading it - tho not for me experiencing it now :)
Another question I had for you which I think you will have an idea about : who ought I to read or watch on satire ?
This is a list of ideas so far for an article but I think I need a few more medieval ones and ones from last century. Here, the US and Europe
Aristophanes
Petronius
Gulliver’s Travels
Cruikshank - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Cruikshank
Punch & Judy
Private Eye
Spitting Image
The Thick of It
Saturday Night Live - Trump
Some authors you could check out are Robert Benchley, P.G. Wodehouse, Dorothy Parker, Mark Twain, Kurt Vonnegut, Joseph Heller, David Sedaris, and George Saunders (who has a Substack)
TV: Veep, Silicon Valley, Episodes, Succession, The Righteous Gemstones
Movies: Dr. Strangelove, Wag the Dog, pretty much anything by Mel Brooks, Office Space, Idiocracy, Life of Brian, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Borat
Brilliant thank you 👍
That’s a tough one, Joanna. If it were me, every time he started shouting, I’d blast music REALLY loudly. After a few seconds I’d turn it down to see if he stopped. If he’s quiet, you’re quiet. If he’s not, you’re not. Repeat as necessary. He’d get the message.
Oh man. The solution to the guy on the phone is so deliciously passive aggressive! I love it so much. Also your on-foot solution (whispering in his face) to the guy at the bank. I really might have to try that one. So hilarious
Thanks, Lyns! I really want to try the whispering technique too. First one to do it wins!
"gynecological hobbyist!" 😂😂😂 I loved all of this so much. I knew a very nice gentleman who could literally not stop talking. not ever. And I do believe this was the reason he never advanced in his career or had luck romantically. He couldn't stop. I got trapped in a conversation with him and said "I have to go to the bathroom!" and got up and walked to the WOMEN'S ROOM and he followed me right to the door where I finally had to scream YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE!!!!" He would have walked right into the stall with me for sure. As someone who, you know, often thinks about other people and how to not be a total and complete idiot, I often think about what it must be like to have complete unawareness of others and self. Is it freeing? Does it feel good? Are they happy ALL THE TIME? What is it like to live in complete oblivion???
Once again, you mentioned the very line I thought would amuse you! Too funny. We are IN SYNC. That's hilarious about the guy follow you to the women's room. It's unfathomable while it's happening, isn't it? You bring up such a good question: what is going on inside these people's heads? I guess it probably is freeing. If you can't ever tell that you're making people uncomfortable and that they want to get away from you, you most likely never worry about it either. So you must just walk around assuming everyone is waiting to hear what you have to say. You have no ability to take in negative feedback. Which would feel good, right? Despite the fact that it's borderline psychotic?
We ARE in sync! Or InSync. We are them too! Yeah-- the inability to not know you are psychotic is for sure a superhero. While I daydream all day long about doing any of the things you mentioned, I am wayyyyy to aware of making people uncomfortable! And other than my family, I don't like doing it!
We ARE InSync! I think it's a matter of baby steps. You already have it down with your immediate family, so start with a member of your extended family. There has to be one you're not crazy about. Make them uncomfortable. Workshop it before you take it to a broader audience, you know?
Good God, people tell you everything! I used to think it was just me--especially in New York, when I was wired shut--and couldn't say anything back to them! But you... You could probably qualify for spy status, what with all the medical gore and divorce dynamics spewed at you. You'd certainly be sneakier than that silly Pete Hedgehog and his gaggle of tin-can-chatting asshats. I will definitely be stealing these evasive maneuvers.
Hahaha they do. It happens all the time. When I was interning at a company in college, there was a woman who'd always confide in me about how her boyfriend was an asshole. The best part? He also worked there. That's so funny that people would unload on you when you couldn't talk. They were probably like, "Finally, a captive audience!"
Can you believe those Signal-chatting, Gang-Who-Couldn't-Shoot-Straight motherfuckers? Just when I think these arrogant dipshits couldn't possibly be more stupid and careless, they prove me wrong. Every time.
We're pretty much living in a Dr. Strangelove sequel. Peter Sellers and Kubrick would be rolling like happy (stinky) dogs in so much ripe material. Lol. It practically writes itself!
Ain’t that the truth!
I’m a firm advocate of the Miss Sweetie Poo method from the Ig Nobel Awards, particularly in corporate meetings: https://youtu.be/xAnVNXaa5oA?si=9Ejlhge19FncT7_q
OMG, that’s amazing! They should do that at the Oscars.
In these types of situations I usually just hold up one hand, palm out, a/k/a the international sign for "stop" and say, "After my husband died almost four years ago I realized that time is not a renewable resource, so I'm not wasting mine [insert annoying behavior]."
This is brilliant, Amy. There’s absolutely no comeback to that.
You would have loved the guy on our transatlantic flight whose alarm went off AT TOP VOLUME every five minutes for an hour until I leapt out of my seat and glared at him with fervor he must have felt in his soul because he looked terrified enough to turn it down approximately one decibel. Not off, mind you, just down. 😳
Is stabbing someone with a spork off the table?
Holy crap. Good for you for death-staring that obnoxious wanker.
Stabbing someone with a spork is never off the table!
Some helpful advice for my cousin in-law. Thanks!
😂
This is excellent advice! In the future I’ll try to be more anti-social.
I highly recommend it
The speaker phone convo was priceless! You really brought the LOL on that one, Chris. Happens here in India all the time, where cell phones (mo BILES) are a bit more of a recent phenomenon.
Thank you, Will! OMG, if I were surrounded by that all the time I’d have noise-cancelling headphones surgically attached to my head.
😅 I can just see the Greek bar room brawl now! And Noises Off--those are brilliant solutions and I'm gonna try one when I know I can handle a retaliatory ape fight. And for social go-away old reliables that women use around apey men?: "Tampon, pad, blood, gush, fishy, moist". Works everytime.
Hahaha I didn’t know you all had a list of dude-repellent words at the ready, but I’m sure they work on some men. Hilarious.
Haha. People need to learn the art of reading a room.
Regarding over sharing. It’s a compliment. People feel comfortable with you. My son has this “gift” too.
I know, it really is. It can get strange sometimes, but a lot of interesting stories come out of it.
It’s definitely the açai!!!
It has to be!
Wonderfully funny, if only it would work in real life.
Thank you, Rose!
Hey. What's wrong with whistling in public? What am I supposed to do, whistle all alone at my desk? That doesn't sound like fun. And why don't you want to hear all the details of the very last time I menstruated? You're not as kind as I'd been led to believe, Chris. I walking away now.
When the student is ready, the teacher appears. I bow to you, Master.
😂
My work here is done.
I have new neighbours and they haven't yet got the memo that these days we text each other when we're on opposite sides of the house, rather than yell, or even just go find the other person. It's funny, listening to their carry on, but I also want to yell back and shut them up.
Maybe one day I'll be able to do it like this:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Q75fWeaK9nc
I’d forgotten how great that bus scene is. Yeah, you definitely have to do something. Maybe an airhorn that you use every time they do it.
I loved that movie! Talk about getting creative with anti-social cues! Who ARE you? Me? Nobody.
It’s SO good! Such an unexpected role for Bob Odenkirk, but he was incredible.
Haha, that might solve one problem, but then all the other neighbours will do something worse to me!