This may be the funniest thing that you’ve ever written and that says a lot, my friend. I am dying! Dead!
“A couple of years ago, Clif Bar (another brand short on “f’s”) partnered with Petco to introduce plant-based jerky treats for dogs. No word on whether bitches be gettin’ their own Luna versions.”
Thanks, Bestie! That means a lot coming from you! Let me know if you want me to send you a picture of the Hot Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza. It's awe-inspiring.
Hi Chris. FYI the cotton gin separates the seeds from the cotton bolls (or clumps of fiber). Imagine the tedious and painful process of picking cotton (there are thorns on the stems and leaves), and then having to pull out an average of 30 seeds per boll. So while Whitney’s mill was revolutionary for the cotton industry, Whitney didn't get rich from his invention due to limited capital and patent infringement litigation.
Moreover, there’s a dark side to Eli Whitney’s cotton mill…
While the Hot Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza with the series of equidistantly spaced hot dog tumors erupting from said crust makes me want to hurl, the brand girl of my 30s would have secretly loved to work on that Oreo-Coke besties project. :) Amazing research!
The brand guy that I currently am would have loved to work on it too. I know I was poking fun at it but it’s a very cool collab. This is way off topic, but did you see the recent Jaguar rebrand and if so, what did you think?
I DID see it and I almost wrote about it on gg, but the post was getting too long. I wanted to love it, but down to the typography it just felt wrong, like silly-wrong, in a "Now-is-the-time-on-Sprockets-when-we-dance!" way. The history of the brand is so rich and televisual. I associate it with the Inspector Morse series of my childhood where he drives his iconic Jag out to grumpily question everyone, and then more recently with the amazing Morse prequel series, "Endeavour" which is set in the early 60s, a completely hopeful time for music, fashion, *and* the space race. If Jag is moving to all-electric, something with this hopeful alignment, maybe doing something in partnership with the series or Shaun Evans, the actor/director, might have made more sense to me because you're preserving the brand's cultural history while embracing a new, more evolved take. The Sprockets take felt contrived??? You?
Your Sprockets comparison is so good. The first time I saw it I was like, am I missing something, or is this as out there as I think it is? Brand evolution is just that—an evolution. This was like they spliced their DNA with 1987 Benetton and some Adderall-fueled CD’s vision of the future. Obviously, we don’t know what the brief here was, but to me, this smacks of an agency (I haven’t looked up who it was) hard-selling a floundering brand a bunch of award-seeking bullshit, instead of actually trying to solve the brand’s problems. Jaguar has such a rich heritage that they could have built on in so many cool, creative ways, but they threw that all away in an effort to be something different. I think it was very misguided. They’re obviously trying to age-down the brand, but this just feels way off the mark. And I hate the mixed use of lower- and upper-case letters in the logo. Yet at the same time, it’s appropriate because I don’t think they know who they are anymore.
This is exactly it: "like they spliced their DNA with 1987 Benetton ad and some Adderall-fueled CD’s vision of the future. Obviously, we don’t know what the brief here was..." It's true we don't know what the brief here was, I don't think they did either. Be so curious to see it!
I fully expect The Baller concept to get stolen or at least very heavily borrowed from.
My favourite take on the stuffed crust thing was a tweet from @audipenny/Audrey Farnsworth that I can’t find but which went something like ‘coming soon from Pizza Hut, the all-new There’s A Whole Fuckin’ Theme Park Stuffed Into The Crust Of This Thing, Fuck You, Eat This Pizza’.
I always try new Coke flavors and bought the Oreo flavored Coke and the coke flavored Oreos. They were interesting. I enjoyed the Coke but the cookies were not as good. I brought them to work and people devoured the cookies
I’m actually really curious about these. I had a feeling the Coke would be better. I think it’s tougher to nail down specific flavors like that with food. I’m going to see if I can find them both somewhere.
Ok, first chance to read this was after a burger. Big mistake, because it churned my stomach remembering a bad food experimentation experience. Being an Aussie, I love Vegemite, but Cadbury released a Vegemite Chocolate a few years back and it was baaaad. Basically strong salted caramel-filled chocolate, which is fine and all, but this was *weirdly* strong salted caramel-filled chocolate. Bleh. No surprise it bombed in stores. I think there are wonderfully delicious ways to combine flavours and then there's what food companies do!
It always surprises me how products that taste so bad like that make it to the public. I know taste is subjective and all, but some things are just objectively gross. And that sounds like one of them. No one in Cadbury was like, “Maybe we should take a step back with this one”?
I'm a big fan of mini M&Ms. It helps me rationalize eating them...they're so tiny! And they make me feel big, much in the same way that eating brussels sprouts helps me pretend I'm a giant holding a cabbage. I think I must just like mini things. I even have a Mini Cooper as of Tuesday. Though I can't eat my car, even though it looks delicious! And I will never, ever eat a cheese stuffed crust on a pizza. Doesn't appeal in the least. You're fun Chris. Thanks for my Friday Stantonland fix! xo PS. Double Stuf Oreos came out 50 years ago? How is that possible?
I could eat about 10,000 of those mini M&M’s before I knew what happened. You DO like mini things, Nan—the MC proves it! I hope you’re enjoying your new ride. The 50 years of Double Stuf blew my mind too! It doesn’t seem possible. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN???
They're so cute...it feels like I'm not doing any damage at all. I never tasted a Double Stuf Oreo until maybe 2 years ago. In all of the years of eating disordered behavior, I didn't want to add the extra "creme" calories. And then one day, while throwing caution to the wind, I thought "why the fuck not, Nan. Live a little!" It's sad I couldn't think of a more exciting or quality indulgence. Boy, the stories we tell ourselves about what matters and what doesn't. Oh, and btw, I cringe whenever I see the spelling for "creme." It's just not acceptable...really irks me. xo
OMG, I don’t like that spelling of crème either! But I don’t know quite why. It’s just always bothered me. Like, stop being pretentious—you’re cream, motherfucker.
Too Funny... a pizza piñata made me spit out my tea. I'm now imagining McHut a two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a pizza bun
Also I agree wholeheartedly, Cheez-Its are indeed a perfect food.
They really are! I just had some last night. Then again, I have some many nights, so that's not saying much.
This may be the funniest thing that you’ve ever written and that says a lot, my friend. I am dying! Dead!
“A couple of years ago, Clif Bar (another brand short on “f’s”) partnered with Petco to introduce plant-based jerky treats for dogs. No word on whether bitches be gettin’ their own Luna versions.”
Thanks, Bestie! That means a lot coming from you! Let me know if you want me to send you a picture of the Hot Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza. It's awe-inspiring.
Edit: A cotton “mill” is incorrect. I know it's a “gin” but I had a senior moment, and there's no way to edit our posts.
Hi Chris. FYI the cotton gin separates the seeds from the cotton bolls (or clumps of fiber). Imagine the tedious and painful process of picking cotton (there are thorns on the stems and leaves), and then having to pull out an average of 30 seeds per boll. So while Whitney’s mill was revolutionary for the cotton industry, Whitney didn't get rich from his invention due to limited capital and patent infringement litigation.
Moreover, there’s a dark side to Eli Whitney’s cotton mill…
https://freedomcenter.org/voice/eli-whitney-cotton-gin/#:~:text=The%20cotton%20gin%20revolutionized%20cotton,to%20the%20institution%20of%20slavery.
Thanks for the history lesson, Lynn! I didn't know about the info you provided in the link—ugh.
They needed to stop at pan pizza and space invaders, the end
Hard agree!
While the Hot Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza with the series of equidistantly spaced hot dog tumors erupting from said crust makes me want to hurl, the brand girl of my 30s would have secretly loved to work on that Oreo-Coke besties project. :) Amazing research!
The brand guy that I currently am would have loved to work on it too. I know I was poking fun at it but it’s a very cool collab. This is way off topic, but did you see the recent Jaguar rebrand and if so, what did you think?
I DID see it and I almost wrote about it on gg, but the post was getting too long. I wanted to love it, but down to the typography it just felt wrong, like silly-wrong, in a "Now-is-the-time-on-Sprockets-when-we-dance!" way. The history of the brand is so rich and televisual. I associate it with the Inspector Morse series of my childhood where he drives his iconic Jag out to grumpily question everyone, and then more recently with the amazing Morse prequel series, "Endeavour" which is set in the early 60s, a completely hopeful time for music, fashion, *and* the space race. If Jag is moving to all-electric, something with this hopeful alignment, maybe doing something in partnership with the series or Shaun Evans, the actor/director, might have made more sense to me because you're preserving the brand's cultural history while embracing a new, more evolved take. The Sprockets take felt contrived??? You?
Your Sprockets comparison is so good. The first time I saw it I was like, am I missing something, or is this as out there as I think it is? Brand evolution is just that—an evolution. This was like they spliced their DNA with 1987 Benetton and some Adderall-fueled CD’s vision of the future. Obviously, we don’t know what the brief here was, but to me, this smacks of an agency (I haven’t looked up who it was) hard-selling a floundering brand a bunch of award-seeking bullshit, instead of actually trying to solve the brand’s problems. Jaguar has such a rich heritage that they could have built on in so many cool, creative ways, but they threw that all away in an effort to be something different. I think it was very misguided. They’re obviously trying to age-down the brand, but this just feels way off the mark. And I hate the mixed use of lower- and upper-case letters in the logo. Yet at the same time, it’s appropriate because I don’t think they know who they are anymore.
This is exactly it: "like they spliced their DNA with 1987 Benetton ad and some Adderall-fueled CD’s vision of the future. Obviously, we don’t know what the brief here was..." It's true we don't know what the brief here was, I don't think they did either. Be so curious to see it!
Yes, would love to see that!
I fully expect The Baller concept to get stolen or at least very heavily borrowed from.
My favourite take on the stuffed crust thing was a tweet from @audipenny/Audrey Farnsworth that I can’t find but which went something like ‘coming soon from Pizza Hut, the all-new There’s A Whole Fuckin’ Theme Park Stuffed Into The Crust Of This Thing, Fuck You, Eat This Pizza’.
I really do think I was onto something the The Baller. Pizza Hut, contact my attorneys if you’d like to discuss. But first let me get some attorneys.
That tweet is hilarious. Spot on 😂
Hilarious. Also I'm starving now...
Thank you! It was nice meeting you in the Zoom earlier. Now go get a snack!
Nice meeting you too!!
This seems like a good time for an emergency pizza
I always try new Coke flavors and bought the Oreo flavored Coke and the coke flavored Oreos. They were interesting. I enjoyed the Coke but the cookies were not as good. I brought them to work and people devoured the cookies
I’m actually really curious about these. I had a feeling the Coke would be better. I think it’s tougher to nail down specific flavors like that with food. I’m going to see if I can find them both somewhere.
Absolutely hilarious. And spot on. As most hilarious things usually are.
Thanks so much, Paul!
Ok, first chance to read this was after a burger. Big mistake, because it churned my stomach remembering a bad food experimentation experience. Being an Aussie, I love Vegemite, but Cadbury released a Vegemite Chocolate a few years back and it was baaaad. Basically strong salted caramel-filled chocolate, which is fine and all, but this was *weirdly* strong salted caramel-filled chocolate. Bleh. No surprise it bombed in stores. I think there are wonderfully delicious ways to combine flavours and then there's what food companies do!
It always surprises me how products that taste so bad like that make it to the public. I know taste is subjective and all, but some things are just objectively gross. And that sounds like one of them. No one in Cadbury was like, “Maybe we should take a step back with this one”?
Bwahaha!
I would (will?) taste the coke/oreo mashup. 😜
I’ll be hunting for them tomorrow 😁
Report back, pretty please. ;)
No luck yet but I’ll be back on the case this week!
I'm a big fan of mini M&Ms. It helps me rationalize eating them...they're so tiny! And they make me feel big, much in the same way that eating brussels sprouts helps me pretend I'm a giant holding a cabbage. I think I must just like mini things. I even have a Mini Cooper as of Tuesday. Though I can't eat my car, even though it looks delicious! And I will never, ever eat a cheese stuffed crust on a pizza. Doesn't appeal in the least. You're fun Chris. Thanks for my Friday Stantonland fix! xo PS. Double Stuf Oreos came out 50 years ago? How is that possible?
"A giant holding a cabbage". Ah, so it's not just me!
I could eat about 10,000 of those mini M&M’s before I knew what happened. You DO like mini things, Nan—the MC proves it! I hope you’re enjoying your new ride. The 50 years of Double Stuf blew my mind too! It doesn’t seem possible. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN???
They're so cute...it feels like I'm not doing any damage at all. I never tasted a Double Stuf Oreo until maybe 2 years ago. In all of the years of eating disordered behavior, I didn't want to add the extra "creme" calories. And then one day, while throwing caution to the wind, I thought "why the fuck not, Nan. Live a little!" It's sad I couldn't think of a more exciting or quality indulgence. Boy, the stories we tell ourselves about what matters and what doesn't. Oh, and btw, I cringe whenever I see the spelling for "creme." It's just not acceptable...really irks me. xo
Exactly! And the marketers who use it don’t even bother using accent grave like you just did. Idiots. xoxo
I have to give the credit to autocorrect for that one
So autocorrect is smarter than the marketers, too!
OMG, I don’t like that spelling of crème either! But I don’t know quite why. It’s just always bothered me. Like, stop being pretentious—you’re cream, motherfucker.
Research for this article must’ve been the most fun ever… great, now I’m hungry – you had me at “stuffed crust”.
They had me at stuffed crust too!
Too Funny... a pizza piñata made me spit out my tea. I'm now imagining McHut a two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a pizza bun
Sadly, I think that’s well within the realm of possibilities! (It would probably be pretty good.)
Except we all know it the beef isn’t really all beef
Details, details!
I like that too. I laughed out loud!