Chris, this piece resonated with me, perhaps because one of the core tenets of Rule of Three is “Don’t be a douchebag” (It’s Rule No. 2, for those keeping score at home). . .
I agree with you, I think the douchebag cohort is getting bigger every day - a marker I monitor closely is the guy wearing the backwards baseball cap (which women rarely do), and these days I’m seeing them everywhere.
"Look around" is what I think every time I hear that men are being discriminated against. Who has all the money? Who has all the power? I mean, my god, the idiocy. But the looksmaxxing...that is interesting in a really toxic way. It's all toxic, but this one feels particularly convoluted that in their disdain for women, men have adopted the thing that we've been expected to do and criticized for forever, which is focusing on our appearance. We've been called vain and shallow (while also judged if we DID NOT do these things), and now men are embracing that for themselves? This is a road that leads nowhere good...
Bestie, I love every word of this. I’m going to print it out and tape it to the bathroom mirror so Radar can read it while he’s fluffing up his hair. I find this whole trend so friggin’ scary, especially as the mom of an almost 13 year-old. I would definitely like to take a hammer to some of these guys. Is that assault or is that looksmaxxing? 🤷🏻♀️
You’re right that so much of the audience for this kind of thing comes from teen boys. It’s sad and scary that some of their earliest ideas of masculinity come from these douchebags. I can only hope that by the time my daughters enter the dating pool the trend will have passed.
This is hilarious and utterly sad at the same time. I could google but don’t want to see the results…were you being serious, is that hard maxxing thing a thing?
I have to watch that documentary, I'm just so worried about the post I might write about it next. My best friend, who is the loveliest person, got properly pissed. So I'll probably explode 😅
Watch it with someone else if you can, Maggie, the more women the better. I watched it with my daughter and her wife, which made it easier to accompany the outrage with laughter.
This piece is both hysterical and sobering. (And these two things existing at the same time and leaving me feeling both ways is testament to great writing.)
"You see, not every man is a douchebag, but every douchebag is a man. Think of it like chickens and cocks." Brilliant. How about calling it a Douchefestation? They seem to be multiplying like roaches and they're way too hard to exterminate...
Chris, I occasionally hear about all these man-hating women's groups, and I've occasionally wondered why the hell they exist, why these women are so pissed off.
Thank you for answering that question. This widespread male douchebaggery is disgusting.
By the way, I looked up "bone-smashing," and it really is a thing. Unbelievable.
Thanks again for opening my eyes to this disturbing idiocy.
It’s shocking when you start looking into it, Larry. These guys are all over the place now. I want to believe that it’s a fad that will end in due time. Fingers crossed.
As an admitted long-time pessimist, I believe that (1) these assholes have been around for decades, probably centuries, and (2) the digital world is simply fleshing them out in a big way.
I hope I'm wrong, but, at the risk of sounding like a woke wimp, men have been a-holes since the Garden of Eden. (Just my 2 cents.) Again, thank you for enlightening me about this.
Chris, as someone who recently spent too much time poking around this same radioactive swamp, I think “manosphere” was always much too dignified a term.
It makes it sound like a movement. Or a philosophy. Or at least a place where men gather to discuss civilization while adjusting their lapel microphones. What it really is, as you say, is industrial-grade douchebagism with a payment processor.
I’ve always thought the key distinction is that assholes are permanent, dicks are intermittent, and douchebags are performative. There’s overlap, of course. The manosphere appears to have built an entire business model around the asshole/douchebag combo platter: insecurity dressed up as swagger, rented cars, beard oil, grievance, and some guy named Dax explaining that holding your wife’s purse destroys Western civilization.
The Oldmanosphere has its own problems, but at least we’ve mostly aged out of this nonsense. Our version of male optimization is remembering where we put the Advil and trying to leave the house with our fly up.
The manosphere wants to teach boys how to become High-Value Males. The rest of us are just hoping they eventually become men.
I was going to watch The Manosphere but my husband said it was not a good idea. Being the radical feminist hag that I am, I disobeyed. But I only got through a few minutes. I thought, this is an hour or two that will be gone from my life—do I really want to lose that time to knowing more about these losers? I find that there is a sort of sliding scale of douchebaggery where you’ve got folks like Joe Rogan at the far end, but you can see the taint of it affecting men who “aren’t that bad”—guys like Ezra Klein who grow beards and say that the democrats have to stop paying so much attention to women’s healthcare issues—you know, niche shit that’s hurting the party. I think douchebaggery might be a virus.
I think you made the right choice by opting out, Martha. A few minutes is plenty. I definitely agree that there’s a sliding scale of douchebaggery. To your other point, should we call it the douchebag mind virus?
Oh, Chris, you've outdone yourself on this one! Too funny! (But also, too creepy… had no idea how rampant douchebaggery had become). And, while I love a good docu, I don't think I could bring myself to watch the one you noted. Not good for my consciousness, ya know? Aiieeee…
Thanks for telling it like it is (even if I wish it weren't real).
Thanks, Will! Some of this stuff is really hard to believe, isn’t it? Who would have thought hitting yourself in the face with a hammer would become a “thing”?
Chris, this piece resonated with me, perhaps because one of the core tenets of Rule of Three is “Don’t be a douchebag” (It’s Rule No. 2, for those keeping score at home). . .
https://ruleofthree.substack.com/p/welcome-to-rule-of-three?utm_source=publication-search
I agree with you, I think the douchebag cohort is getting bigger every day - a marker I monitor closely is the guy wearing the backwards baseball cap (which women rarely do), and these days I’m seeing them everywhere.
And a fine rule it is, Bill. In fact, I’m a fan of all three of your rules, as well as the rule of three itself.
The backwards cap is a good gauge. Another is the always-on attempt to look tough for no reason whatsoever.
"Look around" is what I think every time I hear that men are being discriminated against. Who has all the money? Who has all the power? I mean, my god, the idiocy. But the looksmaxxing...that is interesting in a really toxic way. It's all toxic, but this one feels particularly convoluted that in their disdain for women, men have adopted the thing that we've been expected to do and criticized for forever, which is focusing on our appearance. We've been called vain and shallow (while also judged if we DID NOT do these things), and now men are embracing that for themselves? This is a road that leads nowhere good...
It’s all so weird, dangerous, and confusing, Wendy. And stupid. Really, really stupid.
So fucking stupid. But I think humor reaches places that straight up rants don’t. So thank you for that. : )
Bestie, I love every word of this. I’m going to print it out and tape it to the bathroom mirror so Radar can read it while he’s fluffing up his hair. I find this whole trend so friggin’ scary, especially as the mom of an almost 13 year-old. I would definitely like to take a hammer to some of these guys. Is that assault or is that looksmaxxing? 🤷🏻♀️
Yeah, I get it. I worry about these boys growing up with all this terrible noise all around. It’s scary.
As long as you say “I’m going to do some bone crushing on you now” before your first hammer blow, it falls under looksmaxxing and you’re fine.
Ahhh yes, even douche bags require consent.
You’re right that so much of the audience for this kind of thing comes from teen boys. It’s sad and scary that some of their earliest ideas of masculinity come from these douchebags. I can only hope that by the time my daughters enter the dating pool the trend will have passed.
I sincerely hope so too.
This is hilarious and utterly sad at the same time. I could google but don’t want to see the results…were you being serious, is that hard maxxing thing a thing?
It does sound too ridiculous to be true, but unfortunately it is.
Dear lord that is fucked up
Douchapalooza 🤣
And I support your choice of Anaheim Convention Center as one of America’s douche zones.
👊
I have to watch that documentary, I'm just so worried about the post I might write about it next. My best friend, who is the loveliest person, got properly pissed. So I'll probably explode 😅
Watch it with someone else if you can, Maggie, the more women the better. I watched it with my daughter and her wife, which made it easier to accompany the outrage with laughter.
I watched it alone, but yep, it was a weird one!
I watched it alone, but yep, it was a weird one!
You very well may explode. Maybe remove any potential projectiles from the room before hitting “play.”
Yep, that's the plan! What about my laptop though 😬
Can you bolt it to the table?
No, but I do have super glue 💪
Perfect.
This piece is both hysterical and sobering. (And these two things existing at the same time and leaving me feeling both ways is testament to great writing.)
Thanks, Beth!
"You see, not every man is a douchebag, but every douchebag is a man. Think of it like chickens and cocks." Brilliant. How about calling it a Douchefestation? They seem to be multiplying like roaches and they're way too hard to exterminate...
That’s soooo good, Leslie.
Chris, I occasionally hear about all these man-hating women's groups, and I've occasionally wondered why the hell they exist, why these women are so pissed off.
Thank you for answering that question. This widespread male douchebaggery is disgusting.
By the way, I looked up "bone-smashing," and it really is a thing. Unbelievable.
Thanks again for opening my eyes to this disturbing idiocy.
It’s shocking when you start looking into it, Larry. These guys are all over the place now. I want to believe that it’s a fad that will end in due time. Fingers crossed.
As an admitted long-time pessimist, I believe that (1) these assholes have been around for decades, probably centuries, and (2) the digital world is simply fleshing them out in a big way.
I hope I'm wrong, but, at the risk of sounding like a woke wimp, men have been a-holes since the Garden of Eden. (Just my 2 cents.) Again, thank you for enlightening me about this.
I'm making enough noise laughing to wake the neighborhood! (I'll definitely blame you if trouble comes for me.)
Thank you, Chris! Thank you.
That’s so nice to hear! (Except for the part about sending your neighbors to me with pitchforks and torches. 😂) Thanks, MaryBeth!
Chris, as someone who recently spent too much time poking around this same radioactive swamp, I think “manosphere” was always much too dignified a term.
It makes it sound like a movement. Or a philosophy. Or at least a place where men gather to discuss civilization while adjusting their lapel microphones. What it really is, as you say, is industrial-grade douchebagism with a payment processor.
I’ve always thought the key distinction is that assholes are permanent, dicks are intermittent, and douchebags are performative. There’s overlap, of course. The manosphere appears to have built an entire business model around the asshole/douchebag combo platter: insecurity dressed up as swagger, rented cars, beard oil, grievance, and some guy named Dax explaining that holding your wife’s purse destroys Western civilization.
The Oldmanosphere has its own problems, but at least we’ve mostly aged out of this nonsense. Our version of male optimization is remembering where we put the Advil and trying to leave the house with our fly up.
The manosphere wants to teach boys how to become High-Value Males. The rest of us are just hoping they eventually become men.
This is so well-said, Mike. I love the asshole/dick/douchebag classification system!
I was going to watch The Manosphere but my husband said it was not a good idea. Being the radical feminist hag that I am, I disobeyed. But I only got through a few minutes. I thought, this is an hour or two that will be gone from my life—do I really want to lose that time to knowing more about these losers? I find that there is a sort of sliding scale of douchebaggery where you’ve got folks like Joe Rogan at the far end, but you can see the taint of it affecting men who “aren’t that bad”—guys like Ezra Klein who grow beards and say that the democrats have to stop paying so much attention to women’s healthcare issues—you know, niche shit that’s hurting the party. I think douchebaggery might be a virus.
I think you made the right choice by opting out, Martha. A few minutes is plenty. I definitely agree that there’s a sliding scale of douchebaggery. To your other point, should we call it the douchebag mind virus?
Oh, Chris, you've outdone yourself on this one! Too funny! (But also, too creepy… had no idea how rampant douchebaggery had become). And, while I love a good docu, I don't think I could bring myself to watch the one you noted. Not good for my consciousness, ya know? Aiieeee…
Thanks for telling it like it is (even if I wish it weren't real).
Thanks, Will! Some of this stuff is really hard to believe, isn’t it? Who would have thought hitting yourself in the face with a hammer would become a “thing”?
And I can’t believe it doesn’t backfire. I mean, wobbly bone outlines make you look more manly? C’mon dudes…
😂
Check out Fresh Air, June 24: Masculinism.
I will, but I need to detox from the documentary first.
Oy!
I listened to it. Wow.
Yah.
I thought you made up MGTOW, but alas and of course not. I can'tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!
What a bunch of heartbreakers, depriving women like that!
Don't they know civilization is at stake??