31 Comments
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Bill Southern's avatar

Everybody gets a medal! Great take, Chris. I too got sucked into Duolingo’s vortex, in my case with French. I knew I had to get that monkey (I mean owl) off my back when I moved several rows of seats away from my wife in an airport waiting area, in order to complete a lesson, and keep my streak alive - sad! And, the end result is the only word of French I can recall is “pasteque,” which means watermelon, I think.

Chris Stanton's avatar

La première étape consiste à admettre que vous avez un problème, Bill. Viva la pasteque!

Amanda Jaffe's avatar

When the Times gamified their games, I knew we'd crossed some sort of civilizational Rubicon. Great one, Chris. Team Stanton rocks!

Chris Stanton's avatar

I’m not surprised one bit that you also picked up on that sign of our imminent societal collapse, Amanda. It was a badge too far.

Holly Starley's avatar

Dopamine orgy!!

That Duolingo owl is a cheeky asshole!

Chris Stanton's avatar

He is, isn’t he? What a pain in the ass!

Henny Hiemenz's avatar

Fuck ALL of this shit.

Fuck Ben Affleck and Marky Mark.

And thank GOD you finished with that badges line. If you didn’t I might’ve needed to end our friendship.

(We’re friends right?)

Chris Stanton's avatar

If I hadn’t used that badges line I’d deserve to have my Substack license revoked.

We’re friends. That’s my opinion, anyway.

Lee Bacon's avatar

I was reading about the gamification trend recently. Apparently, it’s very effective for keeping people engaged, but it’s not great for actual learning. Researchers singled out Duolingo as something that people use all the time without ever actually retaining much of the language. But just think of all the badges!

Chris Stanton's avatar

You know, that’s really interesting because after I stopped, I did feel like I didn’t retain very much of what I’d learned. I chalked it up to getting older, but I like this explanation MUCH better.

Tom Pendergast's avatar

This was so damned painful because it’s so damned true. Because I was in instructional design from roughly 2007 to 2021, I played my part by making security and privacy training gamified in the worst possible ways. I’m so ashamed! It all feels like such bullshit now.

Chris Stanton's avatar

I hear ya, man. So much feels like such bullshit now. Who could have known what a dystopia everything was leading to?

Jennie O'Connor's avatar

I find it hilarious that the only reason I had my phone in my hand at this hour, which led me to Substack, natch, was the fact that DuoLingo started shrieking that I was about to forfeit my streak. And I fell for it 🤦🏻‍♀️

Sidebar… how many vacations could you take if you invested in a coffee maker?

Jennie O'Connor's avatar

Spanish because I’m walking the Camino in August. I minored in it in college so I’m proud to say I’m much better than I expected! 👏🏼👏🏼

I have the same philosophy about salads that you do about coffee. Outside salads are delicious. Salads made by me are meh so I don’t bother. But my salad habit isn’t equivalent to a second mortgage 😬

Chris Stanton's avatar

I have so few pleasures in life. 😆 And at least I’m not buying Starbucks.

Jennie O'Connor's avatar

Oh, by all means, enjoy yourself. It’s not a commentary on your choice of vice; it’s a commentary on how fucking expensive coffee is.

Chris Stanton's avatar

Haha perfect timing. What language are you learning?

I actually have a coffee maker, believe it or not. But I feel like outside coffee always tastes better. Besides, I can’t abandon Team Cuppy—they need me!

Darcy Fiona McNair's avatar

AMEN, Brother!!!!!

Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Funny and true! I guess marketing departments across America had focus groups who loved getting points, accolades, badges. I see it on FB. If you’ve posted a lot you get a badge. I don’t want that badge.

Chris Stanton's avatar

I didn’t know FB was doing it too. I guess that was inevitable.

Sam Mertens (he/him)'s avatar

I liked this post, but mostly because I’m busting ass for my “1000 posts liked” badge.

Ofifoto1's avatar

I'm sure the cosmic overlord monitoring you on their big screen is very proud of your achievement.

The idea of buying anothee coffee in order to get a badge reminds me of the Seinfeld episode with Elaine and the sub. But at least in that case, the 10th sub was free. I have a good collection of those reward cards for coffee from various cafés, but I've rarely gone back enough to get a freebie.

Chris Stanton's avatar

Wait, so you’re saying this is a feature of the simulation? DAMN IT! I’m playing right into their hands.

Ha, I forgot about that episode. So good.

Ofifoto1's avatar

Feature or a bug?

Chris Stanton's avatar

We have no way of knowing!!!

Lyns McCracken's avatar

“Halley’s comet of sadness” and “give you another reason to feel bad about yourself” plus “hover over to see if you’re influential or a piece of shit” had me laughing out loud at my funeral home. 🤭 I do not miss those stupid work rewards points. You are f’ing hilarious.

Chris Stanton's avatar

Ha, thanks Lyns! I’m glad you enjoyed it. It’s always great to hear from you.

Larry Urish's avatar

You're absolutely right about this gamify addiction, Chris.

Truth be told, Substack is doing this as well ... with their cute heart-shaped "Like" buttons. Every one I get from my own subscribers (both of them...) leads to a mini dopamine rush. Sadly, that alone is addictive.

Chris Stanton's avatar

Yeah, and unfortunately those likes affect the algorithm. Ugh.