Please, please give us some dialogue from a dashboard-melted anthropomorphized Snickers bar. It’s the least you can do. (Yes, I read your bio.) Consider yourself subbed.
True stories here folks..was a server in a past life and a woman used q tips to clean her ears and the proceeded to leave them on the table between herself and her dining partner..have also witnessed people clipping their nails and leaving them on the table. Have lived with people who only showered monthly, and that’s a stretch..people are disgusting. That being said I dine out very infrequently. Have witnessed it all. People are Gross.
Thank you for literally making me laugh out loud. I'm trying to tell myself that you took some creative license here, but I'm not convinced. So should I actually be laughing??!! Holy shit (yeah, pun intended).
Eww. And yes, indeedy. People are disgusting. I worked for a family as a babysitter, chore-doer, dinner cooker, and yes, laundress....The dad? That guy. Skidmarks. ALL THE TIME. I hated doing his tighty-whities. Absolute worst. He also seemed to be addicted to Imodium. Let me tell you, there's not enough Imodium on the planet to stop that guy up. And I prefer my recovery meetings on Zoom. The only nail clippings are my own. But I do have to say, it can be equally awful to be raised by anally-fixated parents (here we go with the poo again). Uh oh. I'm going to stop now. I just triggered myself thinking about my family's fixation with cleanliness. We had to clean the kitchen and bathrooms right before the housekeeper came. God forbid she should think we were dirty. xo
Along the lines of God forbid the housekeeper think we were dirty, I'm taken aback that the dad in your story wasn't embarrassed to let you handle his disgusting underthings. I guess that's applying a level of self-awareness and decency to someone who clearly had neither. Unless he just thought that's how everyone's underwear is. I need to stop talking about this stuff. I had a really gross dream last night.
Yeah. I doubt he was unaware. But you know, if we don't acknowledge things that are happening, those things don't exist! And there was a lot of dysfunction in that household. Both parents were active, high-functioning alcoholics. And there was a lot of privilege. And with all of that, I cared for them emotionally. They were very good to me on other ways. This conversation is reminding me of the monster's poopie undie hamper at the end of Young Frankenstein. And that's what I thought of every time I did that man's wash. After a while, I stopped looking, because I knew what I would find. UGH. xo
The 'Lowgiene' term is great, I'll keep it in mind for my next filthy coworker. The worst was a guy who smelled like a mix of musty basement and cat urine while often being covered in dog hair.
Lets go back to the beginning to the more sedate issue of flossing and clipping in public. I have found one of the best places to floss and cut my nails (fingernails only) is in the car during the forced idleness periods of red lights and traffic. I hope that is acceptable.
Thought of another. One sitting in a crowded subway the woman in front of me toss her long curly black hair over her shoulder so now it was hanging in my personal space. She then preceded to aggressively brush her hair sprinkling little curly bits of hair ( ie they looked pubic) on my on my lap.
My boyfriend has a coworker that he suspects doesn’t even try to wipe his ass. The worst part? They’re truck drivers so he’s stuck in confinement with this animal. He will walk past my boyfriend when he’s driving to go to the bunk and my boyfriend get nauseated by the thick shit stink.
He pretty much can’t. He’s stuck with this dude all the time so he has tried to give hints - making an enemy of the dude would only make things worse bc he has to live with him
wow. Just.... wtf? I've heard of the "unclean dick" and "idiots with skid marks". Been a "jock" my entire life and we used to rip guys like this constantly. As you stated "what kind of woman buys in to this????"!!!! I was raised by a mom that was an RN and trust me, I learned about hygiene early on.... praise the Lord! But my dad was no monkey and was a very clean and constantly well groomed manly man. I got the very best of parents. I've heard from some slutty women about a thing called "dick cheese" also, and it was sick because the stories.. yes.. multiples.. were from the girl going down on the guy and finding this gunk... and completing the "job" anyway. Humans can be pigs.
My pet peeve right now is people who farmer honk in the sink, or brush their teeth at work in the restrooms. Get your funky teeth gunk and your snot out of the common sink that everyone else uses. Pisses me off to the point that I just want to punch them in the face with no warning! Usually non-Americans, I might add. Sorry. Rant.
Very true. Very true. One of the reasons, as a Southern Californian, that I’ve never even been to Mexico. The only other nation I’ve been to in my life is Canada ‘eh for junior hockey and soccer tournaments. They come here, show what they’re made of. Thus I have zero desire to leave this country… ever.
Two gay foster fathers taught me quite a bit about cleanliness. Baby wipes for the win!!! Wife is preggers with our fourth child, so I’ve been swimming in baby wipes for over a decade now. I preach it to all my dudes.
We’re all just God’s disgusting little miracles.
😂
Please, please give us some dialogue from a dashboard-melted anthropomorphized Snickers bar. It’s the least you can do. (Yes, I read your bio.) Consider yourself subbed.
Haha I’ll get to work on that, Dave. I have a feeling he’s going to slur his words. Thanks so much for subscribing!
True stories here folks..was a server in a past life and a woman used q tips to clean her ears and the proceeded to leave them on the table between herself and her dining partner..have also witnessed people clipping their nails and leaving them on the table. Have lived with people who only showered monthly, and that’s a stretch..people are disgusting. That being said I dine out very infrequently. Have witnessed it all. People are Gross.
Dear Lord. Have you had trauma counseling?
Thank you for literally making me laugh out loud. I'm trying to tell myself that you took some creative license here, but I'm not convinced. So should I actually be laughing??!! Holy shit (yeah, pun intended).
Unfortunately, Diane, it’s all true. But you can still laugh!
Eww. And yes, indeedy. People are disgusting. I worked for a family as a babysitter, chore-doer, dinner cooker, and yes, laundress....The dad? That guy. Skidmarks. ALL THE TIME. I hated doing his tighty-whities. Absolute worst. He also seemed to be addicted to Imodium. Let me tell you, there's not enough Imodium on the planet to stop that guy up. And I prefer my recovery meetings on Zoom. The only nail clippings are my own. But I do have to say, it can be equally awful to be raised by anally-fixated parents (here we go with the poo again). Uh oh. I'm going to stop now. I just triggered myself thinking about my family's fixation with cleanliness. We had to clean the kitchen and bathrooms right before the housekeeper came. God forbid she should think we were dirty. xo
Along the lines of God forbid the housekeeper think we were dirty, I'm taken aback that the dad in your story wasn't embarrassed to let you handle his disgusting underthings. I guess that's applying a level of self-awareness and decency to someone who clearly had neither. Unless he just thought that's how everyone's underwear is. I need to stop talking about this stuff. I had a really gross dream last night.
Yeah. I doubt he was unaware. But you know, if we don't acknowledge things that are happening, those things don't exist! And there was a lot of dysfunction in that household. Both parents were active, high-functioning alcoholics. And there was a lot of privilege. And with all of that, I cared for them emotionally. They were very good to me on other ways. This conversation is reminding me of the monster's poopie undie hamper at the end of Young Frankenstein. And that's what I thought of every time I did that man's wash. After a while, I stopped looking, because I knew what I would find. UGH. xo
Haha great Young Frankenstein pull!
Love making you laugh! My post today is funny. Watch the video (at least the opening) to see some stellar comedy...maybe! xo
I look forward to it!
You're so good to me. xo
🤮 That’s it. That’s the comment.
Fair enough.
Ehm ew. Here in Uruguay the showers at the gym are open, it's interesting to see what doesn't get washed apparently.
Oh no. No no no.
My partner is horrified every time he goes 😂
I think I’d have to shower blindfolded.
Probably 😂😂😂
The 'Lowgiene' term is great, I'll keep it in mind for my next filthy coworker. The worst was a guy who smelled like a mix of musty basement and cat urine while often being covered in dog hair.
Haha what a treat that must have been for you.
Thanks for the belly laughs! I haven’t laughed that hard in ages!
Thanks for reading, Susan! I’m glad you liked it!
Lets go back to the beginning to the more sedate issue of flossing and clipping in public. I have found one of the best places to floss and cut my nails (fingernails only) is in the car during the forced idleness periods of red lights and traffic. I hope that is acceptable.
Thought of another. One sitting in a crowded subway the woman in front of me toss her long curly black hair over her shoulder so now it was hanging in my personal space. She then preceded to aggressively brush her hair sprinkling little curly bits of hair ( ie they looked pubic) on my on my lap.
What? I hope you gave her mane a good yank.
My boyfriend has a coworker that he suspects doesn’t even try to wipe his ass. The worst part? They’re truck drivers so he’s stuck in confinement with this animal. He will walk past my boyfriend when he’s driving to go to the bunk and my boyfriend get nauseated by the thick shit stink.
Oh nooooooo. Does your boyfriend feel like he can’t say anything to the other guy?
He pretty much can’t. He’s stuck with this dude all the time so he has tried to give hints - making an enemy of the dude would only make things worse bc he has to live with him
I'm going to go throw up now.
wow. Just.... wtf? I've heard of the "unclean dick" and "idiots with skid marks". Been a "jock" my entire life and we used to rip guys like this constantly. As you stated "what kind of woman buys in to this????"!!!! I was raised by a mom that was an RN and trust me, I learned about hygiene early on.... praise the Lord! But my dad was no monkey and was a very clean and constantly well groomed manly man. I got the very best of parents. I've heard from some slutty women about a thing called "dick cheese" also, and it was sick because the stories.. yes.. multiples.. were from the girl going down on the guy and finding this gunk... and completing the "job" anyway. Humans can be pigs.
My pet peeve right now is people who farmer honk in the sink, or brush their teeth at work in the restrooms. Get your funky teeth gunk and your snot out of the common sink that everyone else uses. Pisses me off to the point that I just want to punch them in the face with no warning! Usually non-Americans, I might add. Sorry. Rant.
I don’t mind people brushing their teeth in the restroom. I’ve done it. But the farmer honk? No. Just no.
I am guessing you haven’t left the USA much.
Very true. Very true. One of the reasons, as a Southern Californian, that I’ve never even been to Mexico. The only other nation I’ve been to in my life is Canada ‘eh for junior hockey and soccer tournaments. They come here, show what they’re made of. Thus I have zero desire to leave this country… ever.
You probably should sometime. You’ll learn a lot
I would, for sure. I just dont have any desire to do that at this point in my life.
Two gay foster fathers taught me quite a bit about cleanliness. Baby wipes for the win!!! Wife is preggers with our fourth child, so I’ve been swimming in baby wipes for over a decade now. I preach it to all my dudes.
They taught you well, my friend. Baby wipes for the win! Congratulations on your upcoming baby #4!
Great Read, with my morning coffee!
Thanks, Kimberly!
Chris! Wanna guess the line that made me snort out loud while trying to walk quietly through a mostly sleeping campground?
PS. That teacher of flossing while he walked around the desks is the stuff of nightmares.
Ha, tell me!
Note to self: Do not read Stanton's “Say Hi to Hygiene!” after a gummy.
You will invariably write the opening number of a musical about poo. 😂
There was a musical about peeing! Urinetown. You could have a double bill!
Oh, I know it well! I was living in Manhattan during its first run!
It was EVERYWHERE! 😂
I NEED TO HEAR THIS SONG!!!
It's called: It's a Privilege to Pee :)
https://open.spotify.com/track/0mLVsFM2T3Lpyh3jNUIbzv?si=2fa20101db404aaa